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Open Poetry #32
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Tend the Orchard well
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Tend the Orchard well |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia 
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Today I search the orchards of my mind to find a weed Which spreads to slowly bring me doubt and questions further seed I search for fruits which fed me once, but now the yield is small I hunger for what then I picked and joy that I recall In memory I still taste the fruit, which once was mine each day Alas that crop has dwindled and that once has gone away My sun of inspiration, it just left to leave me cold So little left of worth does grow that I am blessed to hold The soil it turned infertile and there’s little I can spread I think I’ve turned too busy with too little time in bed I’m blind to what I’m seeing; hear little what is said I’ve somehow turned inverted with a cloud inside my head I watered, but with teardrops, which only burnt what’s there An emptiness inside I feel with desert everywhere --------------------------- But tomorrow I might find a tree within my orchards maize Which calls to take my wander, which is drifting in a daze Which bears fruits of well-being that might bring me what I need A taste of inspiration and a pasture newly treed Then I again can find the joy that life once freely gave And somehow fill my calling and my orchard learn to save For gardens die off quickly if they’re left to their own means And we are too expectant of their gift to fill our dreams So I as you should nurture all the gifts that God bestowed Tend well the orchard of your mind and treasure what he sowed Then we shall not be lonely in this life we all do live We’ll smile with others and ourselves and find much more to give ----------------------------- We realize something’s missing when our bucket will not fill When things in life are changing, even though against our will We need to listen closer to our bodies when they speak And live more for a lifetime and the dreams that we all seek |
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| © Copyright 2004 Rick Van Weenen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kevo Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466Navarro County, Texas, USA |
Well-written, thought-provoking and inspirational. I found the latter half to be incredibly uplifting. It was a wonderful read. Thanks for sharing it. Kevin |
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wornways Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204CA, USA |
I can see what you're conveying with this piece. I noticed a lot of heavy grammatical inversions used to pull off the metrics, and I also noticed that a lot of the accentual metrics have to be awkwardly wrenched in order to read the poem in the intended iambic heptameter. Conceptually, I was struck by the notion of an orchard needing to be maintained in order to remain healthy. While this is true, I realize that this is true only because man has interfered with nature's natural process. There is a man in Japan who has developed a method of farming that requires only the innitial planting of crops, which are intermixed with many other types of crops, and the spreading of compost fertilizer twice a year. Asside from that, his plantations are watered by nature, and even tap into the ground water to create springs within the plantation. This thought process leads me to think of Tennyson's "Amphion". Based on what I see from you in this poem, I am certain you'd enjoy this poem of Tennyson's. -- I no longer ask who I am, or even what I am. It has dawned on me that there are no answers to such questions, except for our feeble minded notions. |
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Suetang Member Ascendant
since 2001-03-07
Posts 5187Melbourne, Australia |
Hello Rick You always deliver such a bountiful harvest of words. The fruits of your labour are so very rewarding. Take care.........Sue I am in motion |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
what can I say? I'm in awe |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Kevin, thank you for your wonderful reply, I am glad that you enjoyed it, thank you my friend, much appreciated. wornways, thank you for reading my work here, honestly I do not fully understand your reply, I am sorry for that, the orchard that I speak of is not of the earth but within my head, it holds the fruits of inspiration, joy, love, understanding and many basics that we all use each day; you speak of nature as earth and rain etc, I speak of nature of the human being and ones condition and well being; I am not an English scholar, I write of how I feel, in a way I hope conveys to others. I read the poem of your suggestion, thank you for that but I could not find any relevance to mine, thank you for replying with all your thoughts, though many seemed different than mine, they were appreciated. Dear Sue my friend, sorry for not being here too often, not much time of late, thank you for your lovely reply yet once again, be well and take care. Dear Dixie, you are always there, thank you again for your reply, always appreciated, take care. To you all my friends, again thank you for your replies, each one is appreciated. Sincerely Rick |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
"We need to listen closer to our bodies when they speak And live more for a lifetime and the dreams that we all seek" Rick, this was a great write, and I'm sure anyone with an awakened spirit is touched by its truth. I have to say that I believe that the fruit is a byproduct of the "listening" and then following through with what is heard....anyway, that's my belief. Enjoyed.  ....jo[This message has been edited by iliana (06-20-2004 03:14 AM).] |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Rick, is this an example of hope, which though seems scant at times, never truly dies? That's how it makes me feel. Beautifully written. Sandra |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
iliana, great to see you here, thank you so much for your reply, it was much appreciated, may we listen well and find the fruit fulfilling and tasty. Enjoyed your thoughts dear friend. Dear Sandra, great you could visit here, many of us live on that hope, may you find what you seek and be forever happy dear friend, take care and be well. To you both again, thank you, always lovely to see my friends reply. Sincerely Rick |
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wornways Member
since 2001-10-18
Posts 204CA, USA |
Rick, I understood what you were conveying with the poem. I was just sharing with you the thought processes your metephor inspired. I always wish people would do the same when they respond to my work, share whatever thought processes are inspired by reading so I can get an idea how my writing is interpreted and understood. If you're interested in understanding anything I say, just ask. I'm happy to explicate. I'm guessing you might be refering to some of the words I used. So, I'll see if I can shed some light. A heptameter is a line of seven metrical feet. The feet generally consist of iambs (duh DUH), trochees (DUH duh), anapaests (duh duh DUH)or dactyls (DUH duh duh). An hexameter is a line of six metrical feet. An octameter is aline of eight metrical feet. A wrenched accent is a syllable that must be accented artificially in order to maintain a meter. For instance, if you write: I fell and floundered on the floor You establish a strong tetrameter (four metrical feet). So, if in the following line you write something like: I grappled my broad chest no more The word "my" ends up reading accented with the normally accented word "broad" suppressed into an unaccented position. What this sort of thing does is cause an unnatural feel to the line. So, when I mention there are wrenched accents, I'm talking about this sort of thing. Hope this helps. - |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
wornways, thank you so much for this, I may never truly understand, but I so much appreciated the time you have given to show. Basically, I don't delve too deeply into processes but the feelings I have and convey to people around me, one day I should take the time and I will again call on you, thank you for sharing your wealth my friend. Sincerely Rick |
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