navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Rite of Passage.....Balladeer/Kit McCallum
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Rite of Passage.....Balladeer/Kit McCallum Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2004-06-17 07:37 PM





The sight was as dramatic as an ocean view can be.
The moonlight shimmered smoothly off the surface of the sea.
The first day had been everything he'd hoped to find - and more
Since leaving all his cares behind, imprisoned on the shore.

He stood there at the railing with the cool breeze on his face
Unable to envision a more peaceful, tranquil place
Away from traffic, noise and rings of ever-present phone...
Then turned his head and realized that he was not alone.


She stood upon the wooden deck, her hands upon the rail,
And watched the disappearing waves beneath the moonlit trail;
The ocean crests would ebb and swell, as if they were alive,
Then vanish as they joined another surge, to dip and dive.

The salty sea breeze calmed her, with it's mist upon her face,
Massaging out the memories she begged it to erase;
She tilted back her head and closed her eyes to all she'd known,
And let a sigh escape her lips, while standing there alone.


Perhaps it was her posture as she stood against the rail.
Perhaps it was the way the moonlight made her skin turn pale.
It may have been the way her eyes were closed against the breeze
That made him smile and feel the twinge of weakness in his knees.

He knew there, at that moment, although not one single word
Had passed between them that a special something had occurred.
He smiled at her - she turned and smiled - he slowly walked her way,
Mind searching for some anecdote or clever thing to say.


She saw him moving 'tward her, through the shadows of the night,
A subtle thrill enveloped her as he came into sight;
No wish to flee or turn away had come across her mind,
He'd captured her with just a smile, she couldn't have declined.

He closed the space between them, as she gazed into his eyes,
A spark of romance smoldering beneath the balmy skies;
He offered her his hand and she accepted graciously,
And with a knowing nod, he kissed her hand beside the sea.

The next days passed so quickly they were almost like a blur,
Dining, dancing, swimming, strolling - all of them with her.
This chance encounter on the ship was turning out to be
Everything he wanted but had never thought he'd see.

They laughed - oh, how they laughed! - until his tummy was a wreck.
They held hands as they strolled around like lovers on the deck.
He felt her arms around him as they danced on ballroom floor
And, every day, he felt his feelings grow a little more.


Their time was drawing nearer, though she wanted it to last,
The days had moved too quickly, far too many had been passed;
She felt like she'd been swept away with every passing wave,
Each day, another treasure she could tuck away and save.

She didn't try to analyze the stirrings that she felt,
But every time he looked at her, she thought that she would melt;
She loved the way he held her hand, and stared into her eyes,
But soon she knew they'd have to meet again for their goodbyes.

The final day was blessed with absolutely perfect weather;
A warm sun and a tranquil sea for their last day together.
They walked along the promenade like lovers, hand in hand,
No mention of the fact that they'd soon be approaching land.

A final meal by candlelight, a stroll along the deck,
They stood there in the moonlight with his arm around her neck
Then snuggled in a deck chair where their eyes, not voices, spoke
Until the sun came up next morning - that's when they awoke.


They gazed upon the dawning sky and neither said a word,
Unwilling to disturb the welcome silence that they heard;
To speak aloud would surely bring their moments to a close,
And cast a spell of gloom upon the sunrise as it rose.

Instead, they drifted there in thought, each other side by side,
Their hands entwined together - nothing whispered - all implied;
Their reverie was broken as the foghorn bellowed out ...
She jumped and searched his eyes, her own were anxious, filled with doubt.

He went with her to get her bags and then he got his own.
They walked down to the loading dock . The moment they had known
Would come had come at last and it was time to saygoodbyes.
He took her hand in his and then looked deeply in her eyes.

The passengers were waving as the ship approached the dock.
One minutes faces smiled then, in an instant, turned to shock
To see the fellow slowly get down on a bended knee,
Produce a ring and, and in a loud voice, say "Please marry me!"


She saw him kneeling by her side, and felt herself go weak,
She didn't trust her voice would hold - she couldn't dare to speak;
The passengers surrounding her, were hushed in disbelief,
As she just stood there silently, while shaking like a leaf!

He asked her then, a second time, "Please marry me?!" he beamed,
"Oh God, I didn't hear you wrong!!!" She squealed, as others screamed;
He laughed, and joked "Please answer me - or do I have to guess?"
She fell into his arms and with a great big yell, said - "YES!!!"



“Hey, grandma! Grandpa! There they are!”, they heard young Billy shout.
The small boy ran up to them, smiling broadly, arms held out.
“How was it, dad?”, his eldest, John, said with a little wink.
He gave a smirk with laughing eyes and said, “What do ya think?”

This annual renewal of their love they’d done so long
Had, through the years,done wonders to keep romance fresh and strong.
Perhaps, next year, they’ll try Alaska – meeting up in Nome…
He took her by the hand and said, “Hey, grandma,let’s go home.”


© Copyright 2004 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
1 posted 2004-06-17 07:41 PM


Outstanding...a joy to read this fine writing....James
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2004-06-17 07:49 PM


Both of you blend beautifully together
when you take these moments to give us
such a treat....  Bowing most humbly to
the masters of the duet!!

Well done Kit and 'deer....

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
3 posted 2004-06-17 08:00 PM


'Deer & Kit,
I guess a little begging pays off! Just fabulous and thank you both as you warmed my heart a lot. Thank you, thank you.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
4 posted 2004-06-17 08:34 PM


Oh, how precious is this?!!!
Wonderful ... just wonderful. Brought a tear to my eye it did. Brava you two!!
hugs, Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
5 posted 2004-06-17 09:00 PM


I guess I'll get real poetic and throw flowers at your feet for the beauty that fills this page
OR
Wow! Cooooooool..........!
Love
BonBon

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
6 posted 2004-06-17 09:25 PM


Deer and Kit,
As an "old" married sot myself, this is priceless. Cruise on!
Doc

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
7 posted 2004-06-17 09:27 PM


Balladeer
You know Isabel and I took that Alaska trip
In august of 03 It was our sixty first anniversary. And that was no fantasy.
Excellent write, love you both.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2004-06-17 09:32 PM


Brava!!!  Kit and 'Deer!  Passions finest dueting couple.
You have written a masterpiece here...
I was all caught up in the story from the get go...
Fantastic writing and well worth the wait.
~Smiles & Big Hugs to you both, Nancy~

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
9 posted 2004-06-17 09:53 PM


Thank you, everyone. I hope you had as much pleasure reading it as we had writing it. Kit is the greatest duet partner a man can have and I'm blessed to have been able to work with her on occasion...she's the best!
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
10 posted 2004-06-18 12:40 PM


At first I shed a little tear.
Oh no! More love undone?  
Then realized that you two,
Were having your word fun!

I cried again at the end,
Quivering in a little pout.
I'm so very glad I read it,
About time you both came out!  

Really enjoyed this story.  No one can do it like you two duet.     

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
11 posted 2004-06-18 01:25 AM


Very endearing write, you two!  Made me long for The Love Boat..... hugs....jo
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

12 posted 2004-06-18 06:46 AM


  What an excellent pair of writers you make, extremely good read, what a welcoming story.  Thank you for writing and sharing.
Lee J.

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
13 posted 2004-06-18 07:16 AM


What an excellent write Kit....(I liked the Title part that you wrote Balladeer).....actually 'yall'...ya done real good here.....
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
14 posted 2004-06-18 07:33 AM


Thanks so much everyone, for the wonderful responses.

It’s been a while since our last duet (thanks Larry and Karilea for the little nudge to get us going).  

Michael always makes it special each and every time.  We never quite know where we’re going until it’s all said and done, lol.  I don’t even read the final 2 stanzas until Michael actually posts the poem, so it’s always a surprise and a special treat for me to read the ending for the first time, along with everyone else here.

I loved the twist you gave to the ending Michael … you are wunnnnnnnnerful!

Thanks again everyone.  And Michael … thank you sweet poet. It was a treasure writing with you as always.

With much appreciation to all,
/Kit

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
15 posted 2004-06-18 08:56 AM


You two duet with such ease, and comfort, it is as if you have known each other for a lifetime.  I applaud you both for a lovely display of talent and understanding of human nature...
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
16 posted 2004-06-18 09:00 AM


This really is beautiful Kit/Bally...you two are so talented anyway, and when together just fantastic........(I had a laxative that was named this exact same thing)...
Mysteria
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
17 posted 2004-06-18 12:33 PM


I had to come back this morning to read this and print it, and get a hug from Kit, as this line right here, is just SO HER!

She fell into his arms and with a great big yell, said - "YES!!!"

Trust me when she hugs you - you know you have been hugged.

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

18 posted 2004-06-18 12:36 PM


You two amaze me!  It is always such a treat to read your duets.  This touched me. HUGS
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
19 posted 2004-06-18 01:38 PM


amazing...yes

just amazing!

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
20 posted 2004-06-18 01:40 PM


You are both such talented poets... but when you write together??? There's magic in the mix! *S*

This was an absolute delight! *S*

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
21 posted 2004-06-18 01:44 PM


Kit and Michael

This was fabulously filled with all the right things!

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
22 posted 2004-06-18 01:56 PM




    JOY! JOY! JOY!

Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
23 posted 2004-06-18 03:14 PM


This was definitely one of the finest pieces of writings I've ever had the pleasure of reading. The talent between you two as well as seperately is just AMAZING!! This really rocked you guys!
Take care,
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
24 posted 2004-06-18 06:26 PM


You all are so very special...thank you for your kindness....and another thanks to Kit for being the ying to my yang (or is that vice-versa? )


Toearag, you don't take laxatives...you ARE one!!

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
25 posted 2004-06-18 06:50 PM



Sigh....and they lived happily ever after...sigh...

What a story you two penned down here.
I'm off, dreaming dreams of hands hold and lips touched and.....until I wake up with a smile on my lips tomorrow morning.

Thanks for filling my night with such good dreams.

Titia


Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
26 posted 2004-06-18 06:56 PM


A quick check-in and what do I  find, but a wonderful duet...loved the ending...

~smiling~
M

Gunslinger
Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 901
TX, USA
27 posted 2004-06-18 07:22 PM


Wonderful! unbelievable! and any other superlatives which you care to add!
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
28 posted 2004-06-18 08:15 PM


You two KNOW I was up in that widow's walk cheering you on, right?... Love you both - This is splendiferous...
Lucie
Senior Member
since 1999-06-20
Posts 1077
Houston
29 posted 2004-06-18 11:40 PM


Though through the years circumstance and life's unavoidable drama's may drag me far away from Passions. I always know that when I come home that the places I want to visit first include your face Balladeer. You never ever let me down. This was wonderful!

Remember me with a smile on your face, or please don't remember me at all.


Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
30 posted 2004-06-19 08:27 AM


LOL @ Michael & Toe!

Thanks again for all your encouragement and kind words everyone.

Much appreciation to all,
/Kit

Honeybee
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372
Ontario, CANADA
31 posted 2004-06-19 10:55 PM


It's finally good to be back at Passions and to discover this gem.
Balladeer and Kit, you were meant to write together, you blend styles perfectly and I truly respect your work.  

Melissa~

Intellectually I know that Canada is no better than any other country. Emotionally I KNOW that Canada is the best country in the world!

Rick
Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903
Victoria, Australia
32 posted 2004-06-19 11:09 PM


This was just a wonderful write, which I so enjoyed, you both complement each other so well, by the end there was a tear in my eyes, thank you both for sharing this keeper, you are both great.

Sincerely
Rick

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
33 posted 2004-06-22 06:51 AM


Thanks so much for the kind words Melissa and Rick!

With much apprecation,
/Kit

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
34 posted 2004-06-22 07:28 AM


What a perfect dream come true!
Hmm... now I need to go on a cruise so I can find someone to fall in love with
You two make a perfect team, and you never disappoint!

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

35 posted 2004-06-22 09:01 AM


Can a very tardy but oh so sincere moth get on here?  

You two are the duet and cadence King and Queen and no one can touch your gift of rhyme story telling. Always a double delight to read your two steps of meter and themes.

When it comes to Da-dums duets...you two are DA bomb  

Sending out Spammy smooches and gator girl hugs.

People come & go in our lives but the memories & poetry remain...
Of lessons learned, things held in respect, among them is engraved your name.

jm

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

36 posted 2004-06-22 05:55 PM


FANTABULOUS! Kit and 'Deer, I knew I'd be in for a special treat.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
37 posted 2004-06-22 06:18 PM


I miss you both, Kit and Deer. Your writing is a welcome thing when I haven't been here for a long time.

This is beautiful and sweet.

All of my impurities are right here on my sleeve. This is Me"---Faith Hill


Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
38 posted 2004-06-22 08:28 PM


Every response is deeply appreciated by both of us. You all are a pleasure to write for
Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Rite of Passage.....Balladeer/Kit McCallum

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary