I ran away....kicking sandcastles as I went.

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Open Poetry #32

I ran away....kicking sandcastles as I went.

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2004-06-15 06:44 PM

I can hear your feet

pounding hearts

spiralling down the staircase

you

that I have loved
and love

squeak upon the step
and I feel it
through the thickest of skin

rising from soles
that have paced
over every word

you wrote....

"I ran away

kicking sandcastles as I went.."

and I nod

knowing you always will

But

I can smell you at the gate
the hiss and flick of gas
curls smoke from cigarette
as hinges heave

Your rebellious breath
is poured amongst
the breeze
that ushers through
my window ajar

odourless
just won't do

and though

this house
has never met you

it is in agreement.

You stir in the walls

cemented
within every teracotta brick

And sometimes

when it rains
you push through unexpected daisies

in my garden

and I let them grow

unchained.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

1 posted 2004-06-15 06:46 PM

Amazing--

Susan

The whole of the Universe resides within each individual heart.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2004-06-15 06:46 PM

"You stir in the walls

cemented
within every teracotta brick

And sometimes

when it rains
you push through unexpected daisies

in my garden

and I let them grow

unchained."

Fantastic write Gemma!!!
Hugs~

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

3 posted 2004-06-15 10:12 PM

I know WOW doesn't cut it...but, WOW

another keeper.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-06-16 02:53 AM

you are simply amazing!

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

5 posted 2004-06-16 03:14 AM

Not to pick specifics but the close:

You stir in the walls

cemented
within every teracotta brick

And sometimes

when it rains
you push through unexpected daisies

in my garden

and I let them grow

unchained.

is just sheer brilliance, l@ved this one Gem

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

6 posted 2004-06-16 04:12 AM

I couldn't pick one part-it was all terrific.
I really like how you cover so much and hit all the senses by using subtle trasitions and perfect format. Much enjoyed!
Sadelite

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