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Passions in Poetry

Forever I seem, to paint this picture green...

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gemjop
Member Elite
since 11-18-2002
Posts 2663
Pencilveinia, USA


0 posted 06-15-2004 09:18 AM       View Profile for gemjop   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for gemjop


The last night we sat below evergreen
and you
were as high
as they

full of their everlasting green
my stare grew arms
of branches thick
and swayed
betweens the hours
of safe denial
and creeping desperation...

I wasn't what you
daydreamed into the night about anymore


And you
looking away from me
in that old special way

sent the ashes
of burnt skies
and their mountainous grey
just above evergreen

covering the stars

as if to say

'There's nothing to see here, anymore.'
© Copyright 2004 g.j.p - All Rights Reserved
Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 12-19-2001
Posts 707
USA


1 posted 06-15-2004 09:52 AM       View Profile for Soleil Noir   Email Soleil Noir   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Soleil Noir


A sad write, gemma, but a potent one.
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


2 posted 06-15-2004 10:02 AM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel


My dear little gemdrop, if you can write like this in your twenties, I can only imagine what you will be writing in the coming years! You are dripping with talent!

~ and if this poem is a reflection of your reality at the present time, then I am sending you an extra big, comforting hug!

Loveya!
LL
Marshalzu
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 02-15-2001
Posts 4465
Lurking


3 posted 06-15-2004 10:15 AM       View Profile for Marshalzu   Email Marshalzu   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marshalzu's Home Page   View IP for Marshalzu

Sad and beautiful. This is truly inspirational writing, thank you for sharing

Andrew
Kevo
Member
since 06-02-2004
Posts 470
Navarro County, Texas, USA


4 posted 06-15-2004 10:39 AM       View Profile for Kevo   Email Kevo   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Kevo's Home Page   View IP for Kevo

You write beautifully and are so incredibly talented it must flow from every pore.  I enjoy reading your work.

Kevin
Ericc
Member Elite
since 01-31-2003
Posts 4261


5 posted 06-15-2004 04:31 PM       View Profile for Ericc   Email Ericc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ericc

Once again you stir the heart and soul with your beautiful words.

Eric
Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 12-04-2001
Posts 3905
Texas, USA


6 posted 06-15-2004 04:35 PM       View Profile for Pilgrimage   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Pilgrimage

I love the way you did this, with the italics. Powerful write.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

icebox
Member Elite
since 05-03-2003
Posts 4246
in the shadows


7 posted 06-15-2004 06:07 PM       View Profile for icebox   Email icebox   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for icebox

"I wasn't what you
daydreamed into the night about anymore"

The ache of crystal vision...excellent poem!

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 10-28-1999
Posts 5247
state of confusion


8 posted 06-15-2004 06:29 PM       View Profile for Corinne   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Corinne

I really liked "between the hours of safety and creeping desperation."


Corinne
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


9 posted 07-04-2004 12:56 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

gawd! I LOVE your sad ones!
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 06-24-2004
Posts 3983
OH


10 posted 07-04-2004 01:41 PM       View Profile for miscellanea   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for miscellanea

gemjop,
   I couldn't read this just once or twice.  It is lovely, especially the first part with such wonderful imagery describing the picture green.  Sad, though.  Why is timing of a romance sometimes off?  

        miscellanea
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 08-04-99
Posts 10270


11 posted 07-04-2004 05:35 PM       View Profile for Dark Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Dark Angel

my stare grew arms
of branches thick
and swayed
betweens the hours
of safe denial
and creeping desperation...


I absolutely love this vision.

Wonderful Gem

Mxx

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 06-19-2003
Posts 13093
SE PA


12 posted 07-06-2004 03:05 PM       View Profile for LeeJ   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for LeeJ

The last night we sat below evergreen
and you
were as high
as they


oh the insult of such royalty, true love sees only visions of purity.  Tremendous write.  Happy write.  Very much enjoyed.
Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 06-05-2001
Posts 12075


13 posted 07-06-2004 04:40 PM       View Profile for Cpat Hair   Email Cpat Hair   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cpat Hair

And you
looking away from me
in that old special way

sent the ashes
of burnt skies
and their mountainous grey
just above evergreen

covering the stars

as if to say

'There's nothing to see here, anymore.'


then he is a fool dear...
for there is much to see even in those things we have seen so many times before.. those things we think we know as if they were the back of our hand still hold wonders of change.. wonders of shadow and of light.. wonders of depth and circumstance...


Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 09-16-2007
Posts 8075
Realm of Supernatural


14 posted 11-11-2007 01:00 PM       View Profile for Artic Wind   Email Artic Wind   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Artic Wind

an enjoyed write

ARCTIC WIND
 
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