Just Watching The Other Side

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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2004-06-14 04:12 PM

the night is bright

       in           spirit light

unseen by

                      eyes

domed in      safe

         I watch their

            random turnings

like motile cells

      in a microscope

most of them

         blind craving things

   of no substance

      the spirit

of a kitten       or tree

  has so

                   little

occasionally

        never often

   other         things

or the      remnant self

      of some

                   person

waiting its    time

of moving          on

            or back

      waiting

            for someone

  or merely

                     waiting

these are

              wholly

   texture

     without     surface

               shape

      without     form

form               without

substance

sentient      selves

    echoes

of what        has

        been

              what

     will be

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-06-14 04:51 PM

Kinda sorta whispered
right off the page,
didn't it?

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

2 posted 2004-06-14 05:07 PM

Jamie

I'm glad to know someone who can see this well.....It's a gift that not many have. The form of this poem is perfect for the content.

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

3 posted 2004-06-14 09:27 PM

Very interesting -- hmmmm. Makes one think. Enjoyed.

Susan

The whole of the Universe resides within each individual heart.

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

4 posted 2004-06-16 10:47 AM

most of them

         blind craving things

   of no substance

      the spirit

of a kitten       or tree

  has so

                   little

I love the ending... but my heart keeps returning to this verse... and giving thanks for one who can watch and see and share in images so vivid that even ungifted eyes are opened.

Superb write, my friend! *S*

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

5 posted 2004-06-16 11:01 AM

whoa there, I can hardly think so fast!  This is amazing-I've read it close to a half dozen times and still see more each reading.  I like the form you chose to put it in, too.  The beginning really took me in:

   the night is bright

       in           spirit light

unseen by

                      eyes
domed in      safe

         I watch their

            random turnings

like motile cells

      in a microscope

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This was involving and the rest was very rich food for thought.

Kazm
Member

since 2003-11-13

Posts 99

6 posted 2004-06-16 02:06 PM

This is completely strange! Can you really see those things? The poem is good but it's scary to me.

Kaz

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