navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Crested Moments
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Crested Moments Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia

0 posted 2004-06-10 10:57 PM



We floated happily for a while
upon parallel blue ocean waves,
taking in the feel of love with poetry.
Crested moments swept us out to sea
then back again to reality,
while landlocked mentality
kept all but poetic passion at bay.

Somewhere upon silent silver-laced shores,
our mutual mental meanderings
slowly washed away love in a mourning tide.
So much useless debris, flotsam and jetsom hearts
tossed about like yesterday’s seaweed,
left to rot on the beach of dreams.

I sit and stare in solitude from my vantage point
on a quiet jetty that seeks to reach across the seas,
and wonder what happened, what went wrong.
And as the sun sinks silently into the brooding sea,
I listen to the pitiful screams of seagulls passing by me,
and wonder if the sounds I hear are my own pitiful cries
carried off by the crashing surf?



© Copyright 2004 Kathleen Kacy Stafford - All Rights Reserved
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

1 posted 2004-06-11 12:08 PM


"I listen to the pitiful screams of seagulls passing by me,
and wonder if the sounds I hear are my own pitiful cries
carried off by the crashing surf?"

nice concept...weaving imagery and reverie...good write

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-06-11 01:10 AM


"I listen to the pitiful screams of seagulls passing by me,
and wonder if the sounds I hear are my own pitiful cries
carried off by the crashing surf? "

There is something about that sound, isn't there -- it's haunting to a hurting heart.  Good read here.       .....jo

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2004-06-11 04:21 PM


Somewhere upon silent silver-laced shores,
our mutual mental meanderings
slowly washed away love in a mourning tide.
=================================

you know of course...you had me from the title on..

and? woooohooo !!!!
alliterations and ocean imagery!!!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-06-11 04:23 PM


So very beautifully written Kacy!
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
5 posted 2004-06-11 05:38 PM


Kacy,
Yup, definitely bird themes going here! Interesting the emotions the ocean dredges up, isn't it? Nice write.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

6 posted 2004-06-11 11:57 PM


"We floated happily for a while
upon parallel blue ocean waves,
taking in the feel of love with poetry.
Crested moments swept us out to sea
then back again to reality,
while landlocked mentality
kept all but poetic passion at bay."

Now there's a verse I can relate to a bit too well...  



Kevo
Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466
Navarro County, Texas, USA
7 posted 2004-06-12 12:57 PM


Great writing.  I loved it.  I loved the imagery.  I really enjoy your writing.

Kevin

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
8 posted 2004-06-12 01:29 AM


Thanking each of you for your time and replies. I've sat on that jetty more than once in my life, and expect to see it again before those screeching gulls carry me off for good. LOL.
catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
9 posted 2004-06-12 04:42 PM


Oh my, this is how I feel at the ocean, too. Wonderful writing.
Sandra

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
10 posted 2004-06-12 11:36 PM


Well, I was going to try and say something meaningful....But JM got me to giggling, and well...shucks!
Keep well you!

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2004-06-13 02:19 AM


thanks wranx and Sandra
LOL, JM makes me giggle sometimes too

kaile
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
12 posted 2004-06-13 08:26 AM


seems like your writing has stayed expectional since my poetic hiatus

while landlocked mentality
kept all but poetic passion at bay.
~I dig these lines

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
13 posted 2004-06-14 12:27 PM


kaile! so happy to have a visit from you again, I've missed you!
Thanks for the generous reply, and for pointing out your favorite lines. I kinda liked those lines too

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Crested Moments

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary