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Open Poetry #32
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Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-06-08 10:21 AM


Two miles past Crawford’s store
The road turns to dust and ruts,
But if you follow on for three more miles
And turn left at the first fork
You’ll end up at the Buffalo
Just above three rock falls.

We stopped at Crawford’s that day
Buying cold beer and sliced meat
While old man Jans was telling you about
The way his daughter used to come in summer
Stay for a few weeks working at the store
Then be off again to the city and college

I wrote:
“ Some places are caught
on the edges of swirling change
circling as they try to remain
against the current
somewhat the same
and yet all the time, changing.”

You laughed at me when you read the words
Then sat back on the grass as we listened
To the gurgling splash of late spring currents
Against cracked stone shelves

“You know that thought is not original.” You grinned

“What is?” I asked.

“Perhaps the moment, perhaps nothing.” You answered.

Later we stripped our clothes and swam
In the deep green water that pooled above
In an attempt to escape the heat
And I knew as I watched your form
In the water
                 That moments are nor original
Nor are the feeling that go with them
But they are real….
And that we like the places caught in edges
Try too
             Try to hold and stay the same
And all the while
                              Change

When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”

Later… you tried to fill the void in you with me
And for a while
The world simply held it breath
Denying change.

© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-06-08 10:25 AM


When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”

~*~

Merci, for Mercer...

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-06-08 10:31 AM


Cpat,
Well done, enjoyed the read.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2004-06-08 10:51 AM


That moments are nor original
Nor are the feeling that go with them
But they are real….
And that we like the places caught in edges
Try too
             Try to hold and stay the same
And all the while
                              Change

When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”

Later… you tried to fill the void in you with me
And for a while
The world simply held it breath
Denying change.

=======================

and for the things that we can not hold, for the things time and change will take...there is poetry like this to capture the moment and imprint a memory to page and the readers heart...
thats what your poetry always does.

“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”



*smiling at you*
oh yes...you do hold these things...
every time you pick up a pen.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
4 posted 2004-06-08 11:02 AM


El Capitan, you are in a league of your own!
You are a raconteur supreme!

"You laughed at me when you read the words
Then sat back on the grass as we listened
To the gurgling splash of late spring currents
Against cracked stone shelves"

~ Just one of the passages that I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of reading!

And lastly, Dear Captain, don't you ever "change"!

Warm, appreciative hugs,
EA

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2004-06-08 11:03 AM


enjoyed this a lot
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

6 posted 2004-06-08 11:10 AM


a wink and smile to ya, Cpat

          
  

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
7 posted 2004-06-08 11:49 AM


*nothing i can say*
i'll smile instead

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2004-06-08 11:55 AM


Beautiful, every single word, every single line, I felt like I was there, outstanding write.  
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2004-06-08 12:05 PM


"And I knew as I watched your form
In the water
                 That moments are nor original
Nor are the feeling that go with them
But they are real….
And that we like the places caught in edges
Try too
             Try to hold and stay the same
And all the while
                              Change"

....and...

"When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”"

When all the superlatives have been used ...
may I just say, thank you Captain, and softly smile.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-06-08 12:53 PM


I love the way you write about your moments in life

what an ending to that day...*sigh*

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

11 posted 2004-06-08 05:41 PM


Later we stripped our clothes and swam
In the deep green water that pooled above
In an attempt to escape the heat
And I knew as I watched your form
In the water
                 That moments are nor original
Nor are the feeling that go with them
But they are real….
And that we like the places caught in edges
Try too
             Try to hold and stay the same
And all the while
                              Change

When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”


Magnificent Ron, absolutely..smiling from ear to ear here.

another keeper.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2004-06-09 03:04 AM


"When darkness crept on the edges of the tree line
I pulled my journal again and simply wrote
“Today, I watched beauty in sound and heard liquid breath in your words.
If I could hold such formless entities in my hands
I would have held this day and you along the edges of time.”

Later… you tried to fill the void in you with me
And for a while
The world simply held it breath
Denying change."

The entire poem....soooooooooooooooo goooooood.  I bow before thee, King-of-the-pull-my-heart-strings-every-which-way -- obviously..... this touched me.   jo

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
13 posted 2004-06-09 06:03 AM


Nothing I say can be more original, my friend...

so I just bow in respect....

you keep teaching, and I will try to keep up with the learning

regards,
sudhir

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2004-06-10 04:25 AM


Enjoyed...James
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

15 posted 2004-06-10 05:58 PM


"Later… you tried to fill the void in you with me"

Love the line and the thought.  Hiya bud...  

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