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Open Poetry #32
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Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2004-06-02 05:49 PM





from the journal of an Insomniac gone mad
book67 page8

can you hold the night_eye watcher,
 distracted
and wrecked by the rolled about,
 calloused over heart
do daymares count when counting wishes
on  candles never lit
if upside and inside are colored in the plaid
falling free form from your tongue, and i
stand with a bucket of holes beneath
all the yellow you are
will you breathe into you the outside of
my right_way today and see the beautiful
shadow i keep locked away
behind an auburn drape of security
where insecure thoughts color the pencils
i paint my day with
and if i allowed the lines of my poems
to press against your space would
you run or spin with me
how do i share the madness of this love
when all i am and all i have are the
moments when i become the lotus
yet to bloom

©SDT'04

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

© Copyright 2004 Snow - All Rights Reserved
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
1 posted 2004-06-02 06:06 PM


excellent write, title pulled me in
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-06-02 06:43 PM


Snow -- to date, one of the most exquisite pieces I've read!  I am so impressed.  
steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2004-06-02 08:47 PM


neat write...so very well crafted...so very cleverly done...kudos
exhale
Senior Member
since 2003-06-13
Posts 646
Alberta,Canada
4 posted 2004-06-02 08:55 PM


it's such an amazing feeling to read such a masterpeice.

will you breathe into you the outside of
my right_way today and see the beautiful
shadow i keep locked away


beautiful

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
5 posted 2004-06-02 09:25 PM


Very wonderfully and powerfully woven. Absolutely lovely.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
6 posted 2004-06-04 07:52 AM


This is beyond impressive..

Pulled me in and set a mood with your words.

Very, very, well done.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2004-06-04 07:54 AM


very powerfully articulated, this one's a definate winner..brilliant!
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
8 posted 2004-06-04 08:28 AM


I went mad once
then south
eventually I ended up
right back here
at 5 am


coooool stuff ms

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

9 posted 2004-06-04 10:17 AM


what a   one of the best I have read in a very long time!  Just wonderful.  I know insomnia to well....
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
10 posted 2004-06-04 10:23 AM


This is a great write.  Enjoyed the read to the max!

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
11 posted 2004-06-04 01:49 PM


your comments to this piece mean so much to me.


thank you all !!
snow

"yet each man kills the thing he loves
by each let this be heard,
some do it with a bitter look,
some with a flattering word"
oscar wilde

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-06-05 03:56 AM


wow...I might not sleep tonight
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