Promises - my first attempt at a Rondelet, er 2nd now.

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Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

0 posted 2004-06-02 02:01 AM

Promises

No promises
in lovers game of give and take
No promises
when the suffering is confessed
in reach of hope when it’s at stake
with run of hand across the ache
No promises

020604

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

[This message has been edited by Dark Angel (06-03-2004 04:00 AM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

1 posted 2004-06-02 02:06 AM

you've got more creativity than I do...nice write!

Kahlil
Senior Member

since 2003-04-12

Posts 1881

2 posted 2004-06-02 02:07 AM

"in reach of hope when at stake
run of hand across the ache"
Lovely write... ~K~

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

3 posted 2004-06-02 02:09 AM

Maree - wow, and what a first attempt. I'm still afraid to try. Very nice, indeed!

....jo

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-06-02 06:13 AM

Thanks guys for your lovely replies, but I am wayyy off LOL. My syllable count is wrong.

I'm off to fix, fix fix... LOL

Thanks again

P.S I have edited, hopefully this time I have somewhat succeeded LOL.... Dawn?

Maree.

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

5 posted 2004-06-02 09:51 AM

Maree

Your usual excellent!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

6 posted 2004-06-02 10:13 AM

Superhugs...

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

7 posted 2004-06-02 10:44 AM

see, you did it!!
and its beautiful..so proud of you

James_A_Fraser
Senior Member

since 2003-09-03

Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

8 posted 2004-06-02 03:32 PM

I needed this, exactly now. This is both beautiful and true. I'm blessed.

Guess I've got a D.A. watching over me~~

~~J

gemjop
Member Elite

since 2002-11-18

Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

9 posted 2004-06-02 04:06 PM

I like that idea, no promises.

This is great Maree, I would never dare try anything like this.

Hugs! xx

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

10 posted 2004-06-02 04:28 PM

Have no clue what the proper format is supposed to be..

but this is outstanding!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

11 posted 2004-06-02 04:34 PM

Not a thing wrong with this at all! Enjoyed.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

12 posted 2004-06-02 05:35 PM

yup..hugs..um by the way you may want to change fist to first

Aimster
Member Elite

since 2000-02-19

Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC

13 posted 2004-06-03 11:53 AM

Maree,
beautiful as always, so good
to see you "reaching"...really
enjoyed this dear.
take care.
hugs and love,
amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

14 posted 2004-06-03 12:20 PM

I'm impressed. This is a lot to this little poem! Wonderfully expressed thoughts!
Sadie

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