Answering The Question You Won't Ask

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icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

0 posted 2004-05-28 09:22 AM

I got old the night I walked away;
I remember the shocked tone in your voice
as I stepped through your door,
removing all choice from your control,
away from your body,
your body so young
full of promise and need,
your heart so deep,
turbulent in the joining of too many rivers,
your mind,
the mind that always runs so fast,
too fast for concentration to last,
that mind like a constant shower of knowledge
and the irresistible power of your logic
which in that moment,
when cognition shattered,
in that moment your logic failed
and like any good talking monkey
you swore in a soft pleading curse;
you'd asked for less,
now wanted more
and couldn't grasp why I was walking away
without a word,
it was clear
beyond logic,
as you realized I wasn't going to stay,
our play had ended without the scenes you'd just improvised.

It had been a fine evening of music
wine and dinner;
later,
over coffee in your studio,
I had watched
the small dance as you watered your plants
then sat close on the floor while you played your guitar,
proud to have created and mastered new chords
complex and now perfect;
I had promised you safety,
from me,
but as the evening grew older in little decisions
your movements grew bolder and I watched
the small fires beginning to smolder
back behind your deep almond eyes,
back where logic and intellect fail.

About the time you switched to more casual clothes
I realized it was getting past my time,
to be able to choose,
to be able to leave.

Time is a linear weave
strung as beads on silver thread looping from the soul;
it is without end and the possibilities endless,
yet in that moment
I knew,
in this lifetime I am friend not lover,
so I walked away and grew old
in that moment,
knowing for you
in this life there would be another,
wondering for me
in this life what other paths I'd take,
if in some other life there
there would be another choice to make,
as your voice faded in the shadows.

©2004 by icebox

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

1 posted 2004-05-28 09:29 AM

"so I walked away and grew old
in that moment,
knowing for you
in this life there would be another,
wondering for me
in this life what other paths I'd take,
if in some other life there
there would be another choice to make,
as your voice faded in the shadows."

Riveting..I find all that you write riveting.
A story within a story, most times.
Amazing..this talent you have..a very creative write sir.
Thank you.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

2 posted 2004-05-28 09:32 AM

Icy~

You outdid yourself with this...

I have never had the foresight that you must..

I always stayed when I should have ran...and ran when I should have stayed..the decisions seemed easier that way...

I hope you really understand how much I love to read you..

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

3 posted 2004-05-28 09:34 AM

icebox
A little flagellation? LOL You do write well.

icebox
Member Elite

since 2003-05-03

Posts 4383
in the shadows

4 posted 2004-05-28 10:14 AM

Enchantress ~ *smile*   All of life is a weaving of stories within stories...isn't it?
Thanks for taking the time to read my poem and to comment.  I appreciate it.

Susan Caldwell ~ *laugh* I did not say I ALWAYS had restraint!  I have wondered, if you and I had crossed paths when I was the person I was when I was young, if either of us would have survived.  Thanks for your response.

Seymour Tabin ~ "A little flagellation?" *grin*    No, not at all.  Decisions that feel that right are never second guessed.  I still cross paths with this person, and though I am sure she has purged this experience from her memory, she has asked me several times questions voiced in different ways but all asking, why I act so old (the real question, for her, should be "when" I realized my age, not "why").  This past week, she asked the question several times and I realized that I had to answer it for myself, but not for her.  Since she is a young person struggling with this question of her own age, it is not good work to give the answer without the real question having been asked...but her questions did cause me to find the answer inside myself.  She doesn't read this site, so I moved the answer "outside" by posting it here.  Now I can go back to drinking my coffee and listening to music.

Thanks for asking!

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-05-28 12:42 PM

touching...very touching

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

6 posted 2004-05-28 12:50 PM

IceBox~
There is a gentle depth of you that pulls me into your pennings~

'Time is a linear weave
strung as beads on silver thread looping from the soul;
it is without end and the possibilities endless,
yet in that moment
I knew,
in this lifetime I am friend not lover,
so I walked away and grew old
in that moment,
knowing for you
in this life there would be another,
wondering for me
in this life what other paths I'd take,
if in some other life there
there would be another choice to make,
as your voice faded in the shadows.'

Oh my ... I have counted those 'beads'~
Thank you for this~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

7 posted 2004-05-28 04:08 PM

"Time is a linear weave
strung as beads on silver thread looping from the soul;
it is without end and the possibilities endless,
yet in that moment
I knew,
in this lifetime I am friend not lover,
so I walked away and grew old
in that moment,
knowing for you
in this life there would be another,
wondering for me
in this life what other paths I'd take,
if in some other life there
there would be another choice to make,
as your voice faded in the shadows."

I can so identify with this one. But, for me, the walking away was possibly the hardest emotional commitment yet -- a real struggle -- and a sacrifice. The truthful eloquence of your writing is much appreciated!

...jo

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2004-05-28 04:54 PM

Enjoyed reading this...I have had a few that I couldn't walk away from...and definately should have...but I couldn't at that moment...James

rosepetals25

Member Elite

since 2000-05-31

Posts 3076
PA

9 posted 2004-05-28 05:43 PM

There are so many great parts in this poem. I have to agree with Enchantress though.. those lines are just amazing

Tara

Balladeer

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-05

Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

10 posted 2004-05-28 06:10 PM

I would swear you penned these words after viewing several situations of my life...I understand, no-more than that, feel, every word you have written here. Do we all live the same chapters of life where only the names and faces are different? This poem would indicate to me that we do..

this is flawless...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

11 posted 2004-05-28 07:13 PM

yet in that moment
I knew,
in this lifetime I am friend not lover,
so I walked away and grew old
in that moment,
=================================

this hits me hard for personal reasons...hits far too close to home...
a time when I didnt make the right decision, didnt walk away...I will always regret that...and living with it, also makes one grow old...........

and this........

Time is a linear weave
strung as beads on silver thread looping from the soul;
it is without end and the possibilities endless,

=======================
one of the most beautifully profound verses of poetry......

I love you more the further I go ...
before this existence ... you were always here inside of me.

Nelly Furtado

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

12 posted 2004-05-28 10:17 PM

knowing for you
in this life there would be another,
wondering for me
in this life what other paths I'd take,
if in some other life there
there would be another choice to make

i remember this, and am still waiting for the chance to make a choice again, if you're ever allowed a second chance

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

13 posted 2004-05-28 10:36 PM

icebox

"Time is a linear weave
strung as beads on silver thread looping from the soul;
it is without end and the possibilities endless,
yet in that moment
I knew,
in this lifetime I am friend not lover,"

To know is a gift, to give is to know. Thank you for this.

MGROVES

Member Elite

since 2004-02-01

Posts 3802
california

14 posted 2004-05-28 11:24 PM

this touches me deeply. thank you

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