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Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455


0 posted 2004-05-27 03:26 PM



Survey from within
has long revealed
a tenuous display of province
intermixed with pointless regret,
resting atop a decaying number
of gray celled and shackled matter,
which appraises objectively to nil
and illuminates my reticence
in visiting...

yet here I sit
in wait of a why
that can change nothing,
truly perplexed what reason
I thought to ask

it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,
there is no karmic clause that can return to me
a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake

jading complete
I don’t need to believe
that I mattered

© Copyright 2004 Duncan - All Rights Reserved
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
1 posted 2004-05-27 03:31 PM


True, introspection can produce nausea....but it doesn't have to. But I have a feeling you've covered both sides of that possibility, folks don't get this deep without it.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
2 posted 2004-05-27 03:33 PM


Duncan
Dog-gone that's the sadist write I've read all day.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-05-27 03:34 PM



I'll be back!

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-05-27 04:50 PM


"it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,
there is no karmic clause that can return to me
a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake

jading complete
I don’t need to believe
that I mattered"

Looks like the porch puppy has been doing some deep thinking.
Love this Dunc...good to read you again.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

5 posted 2004-05-27 04:54 PM


a tenuous display of province
intermixed with pointless regret,
resting atop a decaying number
of gray celled and shackled matter,
which appraises objectively to nil
and illuminates my reticence
in visiting...
=================================
it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,
there is no karmic clause that can return to me
a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake

======================================


OK??? Who gave Duncan a dictionary????

again with the big words!! how cool is this.

Im loving the vocab and verbiage ...


a tenuous display of province

appraises objectively to nil

illuminates my reticence

sate what was designedly bereft,

there is no karmic clause



I love those lines and phrasing...
rolled off me mothy tongue with smooth assonance....
oh and that last one? "karmic clause"
yeppers...it counts as a litterbation.      

ya know Dunc...I didnt even know you had "reticence"  LOL ...

but this......

resting atop a decaying number
of gray celled and shackled matter,



this I knew you had... LMAO hehehe  


ok...all porch puppy teasing aside...

you know I'm feeling the ache of this write...me thinks ya think too much. *S*

but then we just do, dont we.........


intermixed with pointless regret,

it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,

a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake

jading complete
I don’t need to believe
that I mattered


==================

yep...feeling those lines for sure.

Quite the poignant write Dunc....
me thinks ya need a distraction...


Im fresh outta blondes...will this work?

~~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~

~~~~~


         


yeah... all better now... heh
(nee nur nee nur)      

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2004-05-27 05:25 PM


Hi Duncan,     
I sure have missed you. Where ya been??
Oh, and I liked your poem, but I always like
your writing.
Hugs,

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
7 posted 2004-05-27 08:16 PM


Dunc,
Seems you got it all from JM. Talk about deep AND good. You're still "the man" and if you're paying attention, the ladies know. Excellent sir, just excellent.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2004-05-27 08:19 PM


Nice writing...James
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
9 posted 2004-05-27 08:32 PM


I was so overjoyed to see the write,
I knew I'd be back.

Yes, we could let JM say it all this time...

but we won't.  

The depth of this poem says you're beyond
caring what others think of your poetry...
you're going to write, regardless.

No more games.

Time for the big boys to come and take heed.
Big girls, too.

When one pulls from the gut, as you have...
THAT'S what it is all about.

I'm still trying.

After a rite of write like this,
you should be exhausted, and I wouldn't
blame you if the Big Dog has to take
a bit of a nap.

This pulled out all the stops, Dunc.

I'm danged proud of you.

VERY!

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
10 posted 2004-05-27 09:51 PM


a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake

that's such a fine line that works both ways....love it, love it!!!

Questions and answers are a dangerous subject, but since I have a headache....
I won't yank your chain, just yet!!!!
Ya really gotta get off the porch Dunc,
you've got too much talent to waste.  

I'll even throw ya a bone, if you're good.     Feel special now???

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
11 posted 2004-05-27 09:56 PM


As a fellow over thinker, I can appreciate this poem.  Excellent.

Susan

The whole of the Universe resides within each individual heart.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-05-27 10:05 PM


Kari said: "Time for the big boys to come"


ya know what that means???





                            

                                        

                                                

J.Samm
Member
since 2004-01-12
Posts 415
Iloilo City, Philippines
13 posted 2004-05-27 10:10 PM


jading complete
I don’t need to believe
that I mattered


tsk...tsk... simply tears my heart apart.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-05-28 03:48 AM


cool write
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
15 posted 2004-05-28 08:49 AM


Laughing my rear end off, in the realization that you have written here....ALL that I have ever tried to write.

And yes, JM has it covered. neeners and all.

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
16 posted 2004-05-28 01:22 PM


yet here I sit
in wait of a why
that can change nothing,
truly perplexed what reason
I thought to ask

it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,


Knowing nothing can be done, is a feeling that should be put to death. You sum it all up here dunc, the helpless flailing in the dark. keeping this...even though it takes me to somewhere i want to forget.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
17 posted 2004-05-28 01:33 PM


I wanted to give a response befitting the words and quickly realized I wasn't capable..

Introspection can really stink..and there is such a thing as overkill...

Walls are hard to tear down and the past even harder...Some are just to tainted to step away from the screaming of it all.

Now I just know I am going to be getting an email.




"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
18 posted 2004-05-29 12:20 PM


And you said "I" was hiding the best stuff!  

~Houdini

*poof*

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
19 posted 2004-05-29 12:31 PM


"it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,
there is no karmic clause that can return to me
a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake"

Nothing much I can add to all the above comments, except......my own W O W !  Good to see you 'round again.   .....jo

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
20 posted 2004-05-29 09:38 PM


"it isn’t possible to unhear what was heard,
to sate what was designedly bereft,
there is no karmic clause that can return to me
a foolish moment spent as her heart’s mistake"

Feeling this with you, Duncan....this is such an honest look inside...I like that and this, alot!


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
21 posted 2004-05-30 10:27 AM


I'd send you a tofu puppy treat, but since you don't eat tofu, what good would it do?
Wanna horse laugh instead? LOL
Seriously, this is one helluvagood naked write, Dunc. Looks good on you.
Ok, I'll go back out to the barn and leave you alone.
But I am keeping this write.
BTW, there is a young redheaded filly here in town who looks lonely, but I won't tell her about you.

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