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Open Poetry #32
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Sometimes I'm The Water, Sometimes I'm The Bridge
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Sometimes I'm The Water, Sometimes I'm The Bridge |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows 
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A dream can be untouchable and still remain a dream, but this was more than wishful thought or cheering for a team with empty megaphones of pride, full of spirit for the line, if you ever see her dreaming tell her I am doing fine. A dance can be a miracle of motion in the lights, or just a solemn privilege, and no one's honest rights built of social strictures on the limits of the mind, if you ever see her dancing tell her I am doing fine. A laugh can be a soothing balm to comfort any fears, or just a gingerbread facade camouflaging tears hiding deep behind the happiness of almost any kind, if you ever see her laughing tell her I am doing fine. A wish can be a driving greed, or just a quiet thought, or the aching need for victories in battles never fought within life's heavy solitude, beneath the cold sunshine, if you ever see her wishing tell her I am doing fine. A tear can be an outward sign of hidden grief within, or invitation to a game that only fools begin, but fools alone are strong enough to cast their own design, if you ever see her crying tell her I am doing fine. A prayer can be a selfless plea fueled by human deeds, or just a whimsy of a want for what we think are needs, no matter what the path may be the soul seldom leaves its sign, if you ever see her praying tell her I am doing fine. A death can be the end of all, or maybe it's the start, depending on the histories and the mysteries of the heart, it's sad the best is when the rest conjures nothing left behind, if you ever see me dying tell her I am doing fine. ©2004 by icebox |
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| © Copyright 2004 icebox - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
IceBox~ I am never disappointed in the read of a penning from you~ 'if you ever see her dreaming tell her I am doing fine' I just adore the movement of the repetition of this thought through your piece~ *Huglets*  ~*Marge*~ ~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost, |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Wow! "it's sad the best is when the rest conjures nothing left behind, if you ever see me dying tell her I am doing fine." I can't find the right words to say how wonderful this is! (And I'm s'pposed to be a poet???) Thanks so much for sharing! ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
 Bravo! I'm still working on trying to relate the title, though -- guess it's late and I'm pretty sleepy so I'll put this in my library to ponder over tomorrow. The flow, the sounds of the words, the rhyme, the meter, all of it works well. Well, maybe one more read tonight. |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
I loved this! I can really see this being a song you know that? By the way if I see her, I will tell her you are doing more than just fine  Excellent read. |
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Kaoru
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892where the wild flowers grow |
Brilliance... |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Okay, so I couldn't go back to sleep. I've got it -- the song, Like a Bridge Over Troubled Water -- no, no, not quite. But, I think I'm close! |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
and in this early pre-dawn, you are my hero *click into library* |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
This brings a whole new meaning to "I'll be damned" when you feel like the water...Right? |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
WOWSER! Absolutely fantastic! Maree  The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 Everything about this screams to me... You outdo yourself..and it never surprises me.  "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" ~Sarah McLachlan~ |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
"or the aching need for victories in battles never fought "--wish I'd written those lines. You write songs my heart sings. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
you are both water and bridge a smooth flow, offering the reader safe passage through many emotions, bridging heart and mind |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
You have completely outdone yourself with this write sir. If I see her, I will tell her you are doing wonderfully!! I am in complete awe of your creative talents. ~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~ |
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time prophet Member
since 2003-07-30
Posts 371In New Zealand Amongst the Ancient Trees |
Now ain't that the truth, no matter what, we all be doing fine. A grand piece, enjoyed it. |
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urdarbrunn Junior Member
since 2004-04-09
Posts 10 |
You've always had a way with words... |
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gemjop Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587Pencilveinia, USA |
I haven't read you in an age...i'm an idiot! in my library. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
icebox This is one of your best! Poignant and touching....all of it! |
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