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Open Poetry #32
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LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296


0 posted 2004-05-21 02:01 PM


I cannot seem to find privilege

An impeccable fine fix I’ve enabled, misery

Chaotic mist unbalanced, like a cruel beast primeval

Weighs and plummets heavy on shoulders

To the peril of atmospheric emotions & screams

breaking backs....dreams....


What have I done…I have lost privilege

Am I now Fatherless? Motherless?

Where are the contours of happiness?

Or at least some engaging stillness?

Will this world return my dispicable soul?

It had been so sacred and sweet! ~Once!

Now, blood is contaminated, winter gnaws at my feet

Angels look at me and cry…nature becomes a poisoned thing, around everyone I've touched, loved....

Paralyzed….paralyzed to the essense...what have I done, what have I become?


Words flew like sliding doors somberly limping

Offensive to daylight, to everyone, completely unmannered, uncontrolled

Agonizing headaches from the distortion to Blackness

From the blue cold frozen wind blowing in my face

I am freezing in the epidemic of imprisonment

All the hearts I’ve cut in two, like dull things cutting, my behavior severed and brought despair

Any tenderness which loves, loves not the murderer

Which passionately kisses the cheek of man from every direction

Alas, I am barren of the sense of any feeling

Like a cancer it strikes, whirling fierce and mighty

Spreading throughout my place in the world

I pray…Heaven’s forgiveness, for the sake of

Hearts now cold, which no longer recognize my sickening footprints…
I am a desolate spot, soiled.

Merciless are the waves of hell's prison

Seeping like a caustic, bubbling away innocence

Bubbling away like drunken burns and broken bones

For generations, for the father’s sins vine to the son’s

And the son’s after that.How so, does self-imposed choices penetrate to the genes of brothers?

Every single choice I make, could love or kill another soul????? The rath of selfishness, self absorbtion, self chocking rot...which I inflict upon all those lives around me...if I do not watch...if I do not kneal in humble abode, I want change, I want change, I pray change, if not for me then for those...all others...that I've branded...I am to weak to make a difference....I am to nimble minded


In this poem, I am looking through the eyes of an alcoholic woman, whose habit laid great tolls on the lives of her daughter and her grand child....


How so our choices in actions, words, decisions, deeds effect the lives of so many others!




© Copyright 2004 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-05-21 02:21 PM


oh leeJ my heart was hurting through this...
yes what we do does have an effect on everyone in one way or another...but..once the damage is done you can only start another ripple...cant stop the one that has already begun.
so, first a person must forgive themselves in recognition of being human and imperfect, then they must change the behaviour that troubles them, and...making amends with those who will listen goes a long way...

this is a heartbreaking poem...but, not all is lost for those in this position

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2004-05-21 02:37 PM


To read this makes my soul weep so for this lost soul portrayed.  

Susan

The whole of the Universe resides within each individual heart.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
3 posted 2004-05-21 04:51 PM


With this I can relate.  
Written with great insight Lee J.  Very nice.

JL


She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
4 posted 2004-05-21 07:18 PM


What an impressive write, dear LeeJ!

You describe this sad reality with incredible depth.

Touching.
Love, Margherita

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
5 posted 2004-05-21 07:24 PM


Good Lord!!!

That's almost too powerful.

I want to believe that a world like that does not exist.


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-05-23 03:03 AM


LeeJ -- what truth you have written about the sins of the ancesters -- I have and am discovering the truth of this.  And yes, I understand the truth of how everything we do to and for each other has cosmic effect.   and more ....jo

[This message has been edited by iliana (05-23-2004 06:18 PM).]

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
7 posted 2004-05-23 05:06 AM


very powerful write, and so true
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