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wranx
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since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2004-05-20 12:45 PM


I called her “Sunshine” and it was summer
and splendor stripped her of her shift and sandals
then, pressed her into the tall grass beside me

We listened to the loud buzzing of insects
not deciding if they complained to the heat
or in good cheer, applauded it wildly

Bob Whites were busily introducing themselves
While finches arranged the cartouches of bushes
in the coolness of shadows, deep in the fencerow

It was summer
and she lay glistening and golden in her namesake
reading in the sea-foam of clouds, a tale of Aphrodite

While I, with a succession of fingers, traced my name
in the fine down and gooseflesh I found
at the tops of her thighs and the swelling above them

Silently daring her to guess what I had written
she uttered a name, I deemed a guess, close enough
as she pulled me above her, rising to meet me

It was summer  
and the grass was strained to keep Earth below us
even as the sky struggled to add weight to the day

Caught as we were, between May and October
caught as we were, between Heaven and hell
caught as we were, between Uranus and Gaea

It was that summer
Aphrodite recited the tales to Anchises
she read in the flattened grass of our meadow




© Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Martie
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California
1 posted 2004-05-20 01:07 AM


Ed...Superb imagery and feeling...the beauty, tinged with tears...perhaps of the future of there time together?  
muted
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-05-20 01:10 AM



...good grief...
WOW


passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
3 posted 2004-05-20 03:09 AM


in awe
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

4 posted 2004-05-20 05:24 AM


(Note the time on this reply wranx)

I couldn't sleep. So I was just tossing and turning over there, and I got to thinking about this poem, which I'd read earlier.

I was thinking about how remarkably you transfer tone through your writings to the reader, especially these lovely "afterglow" memories that you craft so artfully. And, as is my habit (as you know) one thought led to the other (which is why I have so much trouble sleeping) and I got to thinking about my "technique" of what I've previously termed "method writing". And then I got to wondering if perhaps you, too, use a special technique...?



I mean, these "afterglow" moments are so incredibly real for me, that I thought perhaps???

heh.

yeah, I know.

sheesh.

There's just some questions little sisters shouldn't ask big brothers, huh?

*giggle*

*snort*

*choke*

(wranx is gonna kill me for this, good poets--but he has to catch me first!)

*ahem*

Let's just say it was good for me too.



(came back to edit for netiquette--four o clock in the morning and they want POLITE)

sheesh again

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2004-05-20 06:08 AM


OH MY GOD! Ed.. I am totally, totally blown away by the imagery, the feel of this...I swear I was there.

I applaud you Bro.

Magnificent.. and it's mine.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2004-05-20 03:22 PM



*smiling*

Endlessecho
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since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
7 posted 2004-05-20 03:27 PM


"It was summer
and she lay glistening and golden in her namesake"

This is a beautiful poem.  Amazing imagery and detail.  



Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
8 posted 2004-05-20 04:45 PM


*trying to catch my breath*  

......Damn!!

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-05-20 05:57 PM


Quail -- In a word, G O R G E O U S  ! ! !
scorpio
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since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
10 posted 2004-05-20 09:02 PM


Beautiful and so descriptive. A wonderful read Ed.

believe in what your heart feels...

Ratleader
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Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
11 posted 2004-05-20 10:36 PM


And when her voice wavered, it's clear she had someone to spell her.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
12 posted 2004-05-20 11:51 PM


...damn
MovesInSilence
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since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
13 posted 2004-05-21 12:24 PM



brian sites
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since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
14 posted 2004-05-21 11:38 PM


nodshaking head

Gusaytch

Kaoru
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where the wild flowers grow
15 posted 2004-05-22 01:28 AM


wow...damn..holy...wow... I'm in awe of you.
garysgirl
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16 posted 2004-05-22 01:37 AM


Ohhhhhh  My, oh My, Oh my, Ed!!!!
Whew!!

majnu
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SF Bay Area
17 posted 2004-05-22 03:27 AM


another gem.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

MGROVES
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california
18 posted 2004-05-22 05:16 AM


WOW   TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY


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