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Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2004-05-17 04:53 PM

What the Mortician Did

He molds flesh with soft hands;
does a little death jig, a dance.

Sickles snag my attention,
twin crescents of moonlit reflection:
eyes with steel-flecked retinas,
cold stainless surfaces
rolling in sockets

as hands lovingly slide over skin.
A sluice is pried open, the body hisses.
My thoughts hover:
he’s dancing with a dead woman.

Later, a dress is ripped open in the back
and tucked beneath indifferent flesh.
I can’t see the color,
but I know it’s navy-and-white.
If my lips weren’t sewn shut,
I’d bitch about being buried in stripes.

[This message has been edited by Corinne (05-17-2004 06:43 PM).]

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

1 posted 2004-05-17 05:31 PM

WOW Unbelievable...sitting here with the biggest grin in awe of you Corinne...

Jeez I was thinking about morticians only yesterday.

keeping it.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2004-05-17 10:47 PM

I've been watching
too many CSI's...
this is way too real...

therefore, a

muted

Member Elite

since 2004-01-15

Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

3 posted 2004-05-17 11:02 PM

*blinking in awe*

sooo much liked this

Sadelite
Member Elite

since 2003-10-11

Posts 2519

4 posted 2004-05-17 11:17 PM

This was an attention grabber! It kept me spell bound until the end, where you tripped me up-I didn't expect it to be you. Awesome
and somewhat chilling write.

Sadie

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-05-18 04:10 AM

intense!

wranx
Member Elite

since 2002-06-07

Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

6 posted 2004-05-18 08:24 AM

Almost opposite the opening scene of "The big chill"

This, I find chilling...Great poem though.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

7 posted 2004-05-18 09:18 AM

Corinne~
Sometimes you surprise even me !
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-05-18 03:37 PM

I'm not much on dark poems -- but your writing is amazing!

Endlessecho
Member

since 2003-09-05

Posts 398
I live within myself

9 posted 2004-05-18 05:01 PM

haha. dark yet humerous. Intense and riveting. You have an interesting mind. ;-)

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

10 posted 2004-05-18 05:09 PM

You had me there..right up until the end...

M

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

11 posted 2004-05-18 05:09 PM

Chilling! But good read.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

12 posted 2004-05-18 05:48 PM

Very intense and chilling write Corinne.
Loved the twist at the end.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

majnu

Senior Member

since 2002-10-13

Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

13 posted 2004-05-19 01:49 AM

i found this funny yet morbid. maybe the feelings should have been in the opposite order but oh well. nice.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Defective
Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 73
Salisbury NC

14 posted 2004-05-19 02:04 AM

Ugh. Stripes. Just like a man to not care what they do to your figure.

Corinne
Member Ascendant

since 1999-10-28

Posts 5167
state of confusion

15 posted 2004-05-19 10:17 AM

Thanks everyone! A bit of a twisted write. Was setting down to write something serious about death, but this is what came out!
Corinne

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-18

Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

16 posted 2004-05-19 10:28 PM

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