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Open Poetry #32
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Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion

0 posted 2004-05-17 04:53 PM


What the Mortician Did


He molds flesh with soft hands;
does a little death jig, a dance.



Sickles snag my attention,
twin crescents of moonlit reflection:
eyes with steel-flecked retinas,
cold stainless surfaces
rolling in sockets

as hands lovingly slide over skin.
A sluice is pried open, the body hisses.
My thoughts hover:
he’s dancing with a dead woman.

Later, a dress is ripped open in the back
and tucked beneath indifferent flesh.
I can’t see the color,
but I know it’s navy-and-white.
If my lips weren’t sewn shut,
I’d bitch about being buried in stripes.

[This message has been edited by Corinne (05-17-2004 06:43 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Corinne - All Rights Reserved
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

1 posted 2004-05-17 05:31 PM


WOW Unbelievable...sitting here with the biggest grin in awe of you Corinne...

Jeez I was thinking about morticians only yesterday.

keeping it.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-05-17 10:47 PM



I've been watching
too many CSI's...
this is way too real...

therefore, a

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-05-17 11:02 PM


*blinking in awe*

sooo much liked this

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

4 posted 2004-05-17 11:17 PM


This was an attention grabber! It kept me spell bound until the end, where you tripped me up-I didn't expect it to be you.  Awesome
and somewhat chilling write.

                 Sadie

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-05-18 04:10 AM


intense!
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
6 posted 2004-05-18 08:24 AM


Almost opposite the opening scene of "The big chill"

This, I find chilling...Great poem though.

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2004-05-18 09:18 AM


Corinne~
Sometimes you surprise even me !
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-05-18 03:37 PM


I'm not much on dark poems -- but your writing is amazing!  
Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
9 posted 2004-05-18 05:01 PM


haha.  dark yet humerous.  Intense and riveting.  You have an interesting mind. ;-)
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2004-05-18 05:09 PM


You had me there..right up until the end...

M

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
11 posted 2004-05-18 05:09 PM


Chilling!  But good read.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2004-05-18 05:48 PM


Very intense and chilling write Corinne.
Loved the twist at the end.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area
13 posted 2004-05-19 01:49 AM


i found this funny yet morbid. maybe the feelings should have been in the opposite order but oh well. nice.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

Defective
Member
since 2003-09-19
Posts 73
Salisbury NC
14 posted 2004-05-19 02:04 AM


Ugh. Stripes. Just like a man to not care what they do to your figure.
Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
15 posted 2004-05-19 10:17 AM


Thanks everyone! A bit of a twisted write. Was setting down to write something serious about death, but this is what came out!
Corinne

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
16 posted 2004-05-19 10:28 PM


more posts please
Triskaidekaphobia
Member
since 2003-02-05
Posts 251
In a state of disrepair...
17 posted 2004-05-20 06:46 AM


Twisted? Yes
Weird? Yes
My kind of poem? YES!!!!!

"And the sun went down, and the stars came out far over the summer sea,
But never a moment ceased the fight of the one and the fifty-three."
      

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
18 posted 2004-05-20 06:49 AM


wow, intense...
Morbid and funny,
That's my kinda stuff!
I like it!

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

19 posted 2004-05-20 05:04 PM


I echo Raph....more posts please!

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

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