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Open Poetry #32
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muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-05-16 11:55 AM



we found you sleeping
and wrapped you in rusted gown
in deliverance to higher ground
waiting for the cricket's song
to sing you home reborn
with Dhamma on your tongue
and nothing less than kamma
in your breast, beating in sync
to the rhythms that still remain
connecting your universe to mine
allowing me to believe our paths
still share every stone, leaving
me only one step behind...
to walk in the shadow of
enlightenment.
`
`
`
`
`in remembrance of my brother

© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
1 posted 2004-05-16 11:57 AM


The heart of it, methinks

"with Dhamma on your tongue
and nothing less than kamma
in your breast, beating in sync
to the rhythms that still remain
connecting your universe to mine"

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
2 posted 2004-05-16 12:52 PM


Dear Dawn, your beautiful words show that you still share the path ... unseen, but deeply felt is his presence.
Love, Margherita

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-05-16 01:14 PM


very touching but sort of sad
muted
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since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
4 posted 2004-05-16 01:25 PM


yes, i still feel the sadness, he died at the age of 16, he is my youngest sibling..i feel the sadness so clearly at times i must force myself to remember that it is counter productive to continue grieving...i know he still exists and is setting an example for me to follow.
the lines wranx chose are exactly what he says it is "the heart of the poem".

im undisciplined...thanking all of you for allowing me to be selfish...for this moments lingering.

as i said, i still walk in the shadow of enlightenment...one day i hope to walk beside it.

I was inspired by a loss of words,
not of my own but belonging
to someone more modestly
attired in silence. ~DMvK

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-05-16 01:45 PM


...


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2004-05-16 04:46 PM


Oh this aches, you write so beautifully.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
7 posted 2004-05-16 07:25 PM


it's easy to tell you were very close

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
8 posted 2004-05-16 08:31 PM


wonderful tribute - your love shines through
choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
9 posted 2004-05-17 10:09 AM


, leaving
me only one step behind...
to walk in the shadow of
enlightenment.


What a powerful and loving tribute to your brother....Both sad and also full of optimism.

Sometimes I wonder if lights cast shadows or if shadows cast light....maybe both?     ~P

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
10 posted 2004-05-17 10:20 AM


Such tenderess and love in the gentle beauty of this poem.

Susan  

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
11 posted 2004-05-17 11:29 PM


beautiful and gentle and mournful all at once...

It is okay to grieve, even when we think we should let it go.  I think in some ways, when we lose someone we love, we never stop grieving.  

~*Krista Lee Knutson*~

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf.
~Rabindranath Tagore


Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

12 posted 2004-05-17 11:55 PM


The sun must illuminate for a shadow to exist.   Walking in Your Shadow shows so much togetherness.  Your poem touched me.
              Sadie

brian sites
Senior Member
since 2002-06-25
Posts 1475
usa
13 posted 2004-05-18 12:00 PM


dont ever apologise for being undisciplined
or selfish in  regards to poetry

that is what it is all about

we write us... naked


this is beautiful
keep it up


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
14 posted 2004-05-18 12:57 PM


Truly enlightened poetry -- you do walk in the light dear muted one cuted one brave heart!   ....jo
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