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Open Poetry #32
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2004-05-15 01:44 PM



These mistakes

are managable,


I know,

there could be fewer eyes caught

in downward motion

his eyes

If I only believed in what I say about you.


You know,

I'm making different colours

from the ones I used to,

religiously.


And these new layers

of thick velveteen

make me heavier than I am.


I can stand the excess weight,

always being heavier

than you


but somehow,


I'm drowning my own limbs

suffocating the four chambers

that worked so hard to colour me

with the hint of blush

for every hour you were away.


It's all undone

and theres nothing to sew

whilst internal bleeds

make us deathly pale.


Motionless thinking

has brought me back

to where I stood

and shed the colours of my skin,

instead of you.




© Copyright 2004 gj - All Rights Reserved
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
1 posted 2004-05-15 01:46 PM


Love this type of poetry!  Great read.
JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-05-15 02:11 PM


gemma...I do know, I understand

well done!

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

3 posted 2004-05-15 02:43 PM


You're a genius.

Eric

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2004-05-15 05:59 PM


Gemma~

'Motionless thinking

has brought me back

to where I stood'


One huge *SIGH*~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-05-15 06:17 PM


Another magical write from your pen gemma.
Very much enjoyed.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

6 posted 2004-05-16 03:37 AM


Oh I love it when I see your name on these pages...and even more so when I read you.

it's always a pleasure Gem...

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2004-05-16 06:02 AM


I have read your words more than once, and the feel of awe grows with every read.
Truly enticing write, dear poetess.
Love, Margherita

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2004-05-17 12:46 PM


oh girl...........................

you rock..............


[b]You know,

I'm making different colours

from the ones I used to,

-------------------


I'm drowning my own limbs

suffocating the four chambers

that worked so hard to colour me

with the hint of blush

for every hour you were away.


It's all undone

and theres nothing to sew

whilst internal bleeds

make us deathly pale.


Motionless thinking

has brought me back

to where I stood

and shed the colours of my skin,

instead of you.
====================


ya took the metaphor to new heights with this achingly expressive write.
awesome you are, Gem-girlie

I love you more the further I go ...
before this existence ... you were always here inside of me.

Nelly Furtado


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