navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » A Bottle Cast Upon The Sea
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic A Bottle Cast Upon The Sea Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA

0 posted 2004-05-15 09:46 AM



A bottle cast upon the sea
now bobbles ever lazily
against the swell and rising tide
in search a place to lie, not hide.

A wish within, a written thought
a wonder what might then be caught
A moment’s scrawl on page within
in search a place to lay again.

O ride the foam and cresting wave
across the oceans wide and brave
and find one home to then reside
no longer lost in bobbling hide.

The words within carved delicate
upon thin sheets a predicate
of love once found and twice then lost
upon the foam of oceans tossed.

O ride the foam and cresting wave
a trek alone yet bobbling brave
As currents push the lonely flask
in efforts gentle a bottles task.

And when the day shall come to be
upon the rolling mighty sea.
A love shall read and softly cry
of words within before they die.

For bottles bobble alone the wave
in search the heart of waiting brave
alone upon the foam frothed peak
in search the heart of maiden seek.


[This message has been edited by Magnus (05-15-2004 12:49 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Barry J. Tackett - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-05-15 09:52 AM



Now bobble will be in my brain
all day...

thanks for the enjoyable read, Magnus.

[get yourself to announcements, ok?]

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-05-15 09:54 AM


love this, the flow,the sentiment..it all sang perfectly...very nice
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-05-15 09:55 AM


Wonderful wonderful write Barry!
~Smiles, Hugs, & W.S.~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-05-15 10:21 AM


Barry

I love the whole idea of a message in a bottle...so romantic....and your poem told it so well!  Sending

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2004-05-15 11:38 AM


Magnus
You did it agsin, wonderful write.

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2004-05-15 12:38 PM


Love the "foam-frothed pead" phrase!!!

Love the rhythm of this, too! I do believe you want "lie" not "lay" for "lay" is past tense.

Hope you don't mind me "taking off" with a poem after reading the title of this one...I couldn't contain myself!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2004-05-15 12:44 PM


Magical surfs always token the thoughts to their rightful home...
Wonderful song.
TD

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
8 posted 2004-05-15 12:56 PM


beautiful
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

9 posted 2004-05-15 02:46 PM


Beautiful...as always.

Eric

Patricia
Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160
Missouri
10 posted 2004-05-15 04:17 PM


Pure perfection, Mag.  I am envious of your meter, smoothness, and your ability to choose the perfect words.  

And you know what, my friend?

Just when I think you can't get any better.
You do!

So wonderful to read you again!

Patricia

hoot_owl_rn
Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750
Glen Hope, PA USA
11 posted 2004-05-15 08:34 PM


I smiled when I saw the title to this one, seems we have something in common

Message In A Bottle

A message in a bottle
Upon the open sea
Set to sail some years ago
Found its way to me

Upon the open sea
Where winds and currents play
Its course so unpredictable
It came to rest one day

Where winds and currents play
‘Midst waves, storms and debris
Left to the deep blue oceans whims
It found its way to me

‘Midst waves, storms and debris
It washed upon the shore
The message in a bottle
Sent several years before

It washed upon the shore
The letter safe and dry
And when I started reading it
I couldn’t help but cry

The letter safe and dry
It told a haunting tale
“My dearest Ruth...” it began
My breath caught, my face went pale

It told a haunting tale
In writing I knew well
He promised he’d come back real soon
The day that he set sail

In writing I knew well
I read his final note
He’d run into a storm at sea
Where the waves they’d sunk his boat

I read his final note
A letter meant for me
“I know I promised I’d be back
But it seems I’ll die at sea”

A letter meant for me
“Please forgive me,” the words said
“I won’t be coming back to you
By tomorrow I’ll be dead”

“Please forgive me,” the words said
“You know I loved you so
But I’ve drifted here for days on end
And now it’s time to go”

“You know I loved you so
My dear I always will
When I shed this mortal shell
I will love you still”

“My dear I always will
Remember our true love
I’m looking forward to the day
When we both meet above”

“Remember our true love”
How those words they spoke to me
As I shoved the note into the bottle
And threw it out to sea

How those words they spoke to me
There standing on that shore
I’d thought he found another love
Those many years before

There standing on the shore
As I began to cry
I watched the bottle drift away
And finally said goodbye

~ Ruth

If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
  
  

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2004-05-15 09:54 PM


Magnus~
Such a lovely read this evening~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
13 posted 2004-05-16 06:51 AM


very nice -beki applauds heartily!
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
14 posted 2004-05-16 08:30 AM


You certainly lent your creative and romantic touch to this write. It has you written all over it! ~ and that's a "mag"nificent thing!


Linda

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » A Bottle Cast Upon The Sea

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary