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Open Poetry #32

Dance

forne_marin
Member

since 2004-04-13

Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina

0 posted 2004-05-14 05:10 PM

DANCE

I trusted you.
   You took my hand.
I led you across the floor.
My heart
   was at
       your
              command.

You deceived me.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

1 posted 2004-05-14 05:16 PM

Life is a dance and love -- well, .... you've nailed the heartbreat of it. Enjoyed.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

2 posted 2004-05-14 06:13 PM

Some steps leave tread in their passing...
nicely done.
TD

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

3 posted 2004-05-14 06:15 PM

Oh man… this started out so nice.
Then the crash. Sorry dude… Been there too.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-05-15 02:15 PM

ouch

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