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Open Poetry #32
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LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada

0 posted 2004-05-14 11:38 AM


A Lonely Breath

A lonely breath is taken
Despairing the dreaded morrow
A world decayed and shaken
Even at best, replete with sorrow

And in its darkest hours
Sitting withered in his place
An old man seethingly scours
Eyes fixed, on his untied bootlace

'Tis been one week since he took his seat
Not food nor water consumed
The scraps of his mind, those not deplete
Have convinced him, he is doomed

'Twas he who chose this tortured death
From this wretched earth exiled
And as he takes its final breath
His face twists to a smile

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

© Copyright 2004 Jesse Wintonyk - All Rights Reserved
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
1 posted 2004-05-14 12:11 PM


Wow.  Excellent write.  Really drew me in.
JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-05-14 12:13 PM


love the rhyme scheme here! well done!
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2004-05-14 12:35 PM


Smilin...
It is the little details of living that hold the most happiness...huh?
TD

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-05-14 12:39 PM


Jesse -- Wow, this is captivating!  I'll be watching for Part 2.  
LucidityNow
Member
since 2001-02-06
Posts 118
Canada
5 posted 2004-05-14 08:00 PM


ty, hopefully part 2 tommorow

and i'm certain that if i drive into those trees, it would make less of a mess, than she's made of me...

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