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Open Poetry #32
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Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

0 posted 2004-05-14 08:15 AM


the skies held their own
moist and heavy
while dark clouds
of unknown tempest
settled all around
my circling eye
that kept blinking
looking for a hint

a pinhole of a chance
and an inkling of
a smile

~

her shadow
vanished quickly
but not as quick as
her footprints
were drowned
by the rain

but the shear
in the heart
persisted
like thunder clap
bristling in echoes
of lingering music
surrounding
rain dancers

~

when the rain would stop
its heavy pouring
a new chapter of life
must surely emerge

in that episode
children will
play in puddles
blissfully unaware

~


© Copyright 2004 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
1 posted 2004-05-14 08:25 AM


Sudhir ... what a beautiful piece. Such a wonderful flow and the imagery is lovely. I loved how you wrapped this up in the closing stanza. Great to read you, my friend - very much enjoyed this!

Best wishes,
/Kit

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-05-14 08:50 AM


a pinhole of a chance
and an inkling of
a smile

~&~

quote:
If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you


That's what this reminded me of, Sudhir...

thank you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-05-14 12:28 PM


wow! stunning piece! Love that ending!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-05-14 12:31 PM


Sudhir Iyer -- this was really lovely; very flowing.  (Thanks so much for the spelling correction on Poseiden.)  
Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2004-05-14 11:27 PM


Sudhir~
My friend ... this teams with imagery~

'her shadow
vanished quickly
but not as quick as
her footprints
were drowned
by the rain

but the shear
in the heart
persisted
like thunder clap
bristling in echoes
of lingering music
surrounding
rain dancers'


Oh ... I can see it ... hear it ... dance in it~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
6 posted 2004-05-16 12:34 PM


"her shadow
vanished quickly
but not as quick as
her footprints
were drowned
by the rain"

Very, very nicely done m'friend

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
7 posted 2004-05-27 09:25 AM


THANK you, thank YOU, THANK YOU

Regards
Sudhir

Larry C
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286
United States
8 posted 2004-05-27 08:32 PM


Sudhir,
You have a gentle touch and a tender heart. This was a fabulous write. So very well done.

If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
9 posted 2004-05-27 10:34 PM


You do have a beautiful soul.
This is exceptional.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2004-05-28 12:07 PM


Enjoyed...James
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
11 posted 2004-06-03 03:52 PM


thank you all so very much ...

regards
sudhir

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