lips pressed together in safety

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Open Poetry #32

lips pressed together in safety

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

0 posted 2004-05-08 09:08 PM

i wrote this as i went along, enjoy.

lips pressed together in safety

The masked martyrs only scream when the flames rise around their brothers
For their concern rises in concertos of removed fifths made from a ling fire.
Will we all let ourselves perish so the night can feel as though it is in control?
Will you hold my hand even as our skin peels away to reveal the soul?
Everytime we exhort one another to exigous words of real feeling
The reality of surreality slaps our wrists with another wire that captures our mouths.
Press your lips against mine if only to take our minds off the lack of oxygen,
The firestorm has arrived in the form of a beautiful ghost,
she is faint, isn't she?

GlisteningRain
Member

since 2004-05-06

Posts 103
The clouds

1 posted 2004-05-09 02:03 AM

you seem to like aliteration. I like that.

"Will we all let ourselves perish so the night can feel as though it is in control?
Will you hold my hand even as our skin peels away to reveal the soul?" Nice questions. Weird..but nice. lol. Questions are good in poems. Makes people think.

B

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

2 posted 2004-05-09 10:59 AM

thanks alot

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2004-05-10 02:46 AM

Enjoyed...Jmaes

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

4 posted 2004-05-10 02:58 AM

Oh, the times we are living in -- yes, real but surreal -- great writing!

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

5 posted 2004-05-10 12:31 PM

thank you all for the wonderful comments

Greeneyes

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-09-09

Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

6 posted 2004-05-10 11:02 PM

The firestorm has arrived in the form of a beautiful ghost, she is faint, isn't she''''

there is such a mystery to this....wonderfully done !

~~**~~
le vent chante avec le calme doux
calme de nuit
sien beauté sur mes lèvres
~~**~~

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