navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Not a Dime
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Not a Dime Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-05-07 02:44 PM




painting from bookladder.com

`
`
`
Not a dime between us,
but when you sing to me
I kick off my Sunday shoes
and dance in the clay.
You make reverie come easy
with every blue toned note
calling through poverty
and the loss of family,
the failing of the community,
and the yellow ribbons
tied 'round too many trees.
You’re gonna be a star someday
the kind we wish upon
when the winter falls grey
and moonshine warms the night.
And I'm gonna say, "look there
that one with the twinkle,
I knew him once".
And the young'uns will giggle
watching me play harmonica
on pretend of wind
while listening to clouds
carrying your tune.
yeah, not a dime between us
but I suppose what we got
is worth more than I'll ever see.
I reckon you might be priceless
~even if only to me~



© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
RMW
Senior Member
since 2001-03-21
Posts 1424

1 posted 2004-05-07 02:48 PM


Muted...what a musical read. Well done. Bob
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2004-05-07 03:05 PM


Lovely Dawn!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
3 posted 2004-05-07 04:02 PM


I love the rythm of this.. and the words... I don't know what my favorites are, it's all so good.
I think this is my favorite, though...

"You’re gonna be a star someday
the kind we wish upon"

now I'll shut up before I change my mind.
This really is an incredible read

Always, Alyssa

He was a man of sorrows
...I am a girl of tears.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-05-07 04:08 PM


"And I'm gonna say, "look there
that one with the twinkle,
I knew him once".
And the young'uns will giggle
watching me play harmonica
on pretend of wind
while listening to clouds
carrying your tune."

Remarkable write Dawn...fits the pic perfectly.
Very very much enjoyed the read.
I think my favourite lines are the ones above.
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Trace my body with your words,
  in doing so, you touch my heart ~

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

5 posted 2004-05-07 04:10 PM


muted,
  This is so down-to-earth, yet sparkling as
his star!  I enjoyed this a whole bunch.
      Sadie

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-05-07 04:32 PM


well I got a nickel but it doesn't sound like you need it


Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-05-07 04:33 PM


yeah, not a dime between us
but I suppose what we got
is worth more than I'll ever see.
I reckon you might be priceless
~even if only to me~


what a beautiful heart you have Dawn  



Mxx




What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!


Pilgrimage
Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-05-07 05:50 PM


This is a fantastic song. I love it.

Nan (Pilgrim variety)

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2004-05-07 05:52 PM


whimsical and softly sweet--

(and love the new pic, lady dawn!)


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
10 posted 2004-05-07 06:55 PM


You make reverie come easy
with every blue toned note


Exquisite poem, dear Dawn.
Love, Margherita

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2004-05-07 08:02 PM


Nice...the picture reminds me of Mr. Bojangles...dance....James
MovesInSilence
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
12 posted 2004-05-08 05:36 AM


*throws a couple of coins in the upturned guitar case*

Beautifully written Dawn. The image lends it self well to the poem   


Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Not a Dime

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary