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Open Poetry #32
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majnu
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Senior Member
since 2002-10-13
Posts 1088
SF Bay Area

0 posted 2004-05-03 05:51 PM


Her absence is a river through my heart.
Slowly, the substance is carried away,
The deepening canyon resounds with cries;
Quickening beats reach critical resonance,
and,
The errosions arrested by the end.

Springs flowing down combine to trickle
The stop. And the riverbed turned rift
Becomes a collection of desert cliffs;
Forever more to year for the slow cool pain,
of errosive memories.

-majnu
--------------------------------------
Timid thoughts be not afraid. I am a Poet.

[This message has been edited by majnu (05-03-2004 07:23 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Zaheer Abbas Ali - All Rights Reserved
aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
1 posted 2004-05-03 06:20 PM


And the riverbed turned rift
Becomes a collection of desert cliffs;
Forever more to year for the slow cool pain,
of errosive memories.

a priceless write
nice thoughts , I enjoyed this very much
-wolf

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
2 posted 2004-05-03 06:58 PM


This poem...

touching places I dare only visit alone.

beautiful.

~Tier

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

3 posted 2004-06-03 11:51 PM


great metaphor for such a pain-filled write...nice job
GG
Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532
Lost in thought
4 posted 2004-06-04 01:06 AM


full of pain and grief
but said in a way that brings a kind of beauty to it.
Thank you...

Always, Alyssa

Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
                  Joyce kilmer

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

5 posted 2004-06-04 01:51 AM


...a poet's pain...I feel it.  Wonderfully written.  ~K~
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-06-04 03:11 AM


Excellent!  
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
7 posted 2004-06-05 01:03 AM


Enjoyed...James
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