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Open Poetry #32
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Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095


0 posted 2004-04-30 05:53 AM


so now
the day creeps up and undresses you
you are left alone
except for discarded stilettos
and rubber sheaths worn only by men

how you will cry with rage…
call the night the mother of all dogs
for she has taken your lovers
your long-legged garments
and whining wombs

you are full of salt-mist
that brittle cry of pantyhose

nothing is left now lighthouse
save the sound of gulls
the soft slap of waves born from under you
and the tales of legendary mermaids


300404

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!


© Copyright 2004 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2004-04-30 07:57 AM


for she has taken your lovers
your long-legged garments
and whining wombs

you are full of salt-mist
that brittle cry of pantyhose

===============================


whoa...thats some way cool imagery...
cutting edge poetry here Maree-girl...
very very cool.

(love your sig)Alanis is queen girlie-girl. LOL

The ink bleeds through cuz you're paper thin
you're one more fool with a paper and pen
lookin for a poem in the water stains on the floor.

R.B.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
2 posted 2004-04-30 08:15 AM


woah....this is wow-able...very nice, very gritty...loved it!
Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
3 posted 2004-04-30 08:32 AM


nothing is left now lighthouse
save the sound of gulls
the soft slap of waves born from under you
and the tales of legendary mermaids '''
~

the series was beautiful, this was a "perfect" ending....the image very vivid!

~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
4 posted 2004-04-30 08:33 AM


sighs  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
5 posted 2004-04-30 08:48 AM



It's good
when you
outdo
yourself!

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2004-04-30 11:03 AM


The best of the best, Maree...Inspired writing!
Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
7 posted 2004-04-30 11:17 AM


Maree, this is outstanding. I'm going to find all the others and read them as well.

~Tier{R.T.}

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

8 posted 2004-04-30 02:11 PM


You just keep surpassing yourself.

shaking my head here...

I say it again, you are all the more lovely for not understanding just how beautiful you truly are...


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
9 posted 2004-04-30 02:31 PM


always enjoy your free verse

amazing

Beki
Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA
10 posted 2004-05-01 12:14 PM


I think this is fascinating...I love the imagery and will have to look for the rest to put it into context!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
11 posted 2004-05-02 02:29 AM


Maree, I have so enjoyed your shoreline and lighthouse paintings -- and this one is no exception!  
inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
12 posted 2004-05-03 09:19 PM


the enchantment of the seas
sets sail upon your words

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
13 posted 2004-05-03 09:47 PM


What a world you paint!
TD

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
14 posted 2004-06-08 06:43 AM



Yes, this is certainly
a poem
to feel again...

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

15 posted 2004-06-08 06:45 AM


Tremendous write!  Very much enjoyed
Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
16 posted 2004-06-08 06:45 AM


exemplary writing, Maree...

Regards
sudhir

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
17 posted 2004-06-08 09:01 AM


Again, this one has flesh, to really get your teeth into, bloody and raw. its the only way I can describe it...

the day creeps up and undersses you....

love,love,love this line. genius.

library.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
18 posted 2004-06-08 09:18 AM


Amazing...simply amazing!!!
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain~

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
19 posted 2004-06-08 04:21 PM


Intriguing read…

JL


She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”


garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
20 posted 2004-06-08 04:27 PM


Maree, your writing is truly beautiful.
I love the way you paint pictures with your words.
Hugs,
Ethel

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » the day creeps up and undresses you (lighthouse series - scene 7)

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