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Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself

0 posted 2004-04-27 09:23 AM



I had this in Critical forum.  Now I'm moving it here.  I didn't make any changes, but it's a new "voice" I'm not used to writing in.  I was trying a differant sounding poetry than I've ever done before.  I wanted to try a more classic style of poetry.  I've been reading Coleridge lately so who can blame me?! ;-)  Though I'm sure you can't tell by my poem (of its inspiration).  

----

On early day I met my love
In earnest light and purple hue.
I sat upon the hill above
and waited for refreshing dew.
He took my hand from off the grass
pulling me into his embrace.
Not simply found in arms, but perchance,
was found in light upon his face.
Discovering softness in new light,
a moment kept forever inside
his pearl face and eyes midnight
kept dancing from his to my mind.
Ever distanced, yet ever kind.

Fearing setting of sun shine,
we watch the colors change.
Forever beauty seared my mind
still blue through dark red rage.
He held me close to keep me safe
as eyes I clasped one lid to another
hiding face in chest of my lover  
shutting out life of a desolate waif.
In bright day light, on grassy knoll,
with the world so far away.
Refusing to look down below,
we stayed together through the day.

My love!  My life!
As I lay alone,
I dream about those days we spent
Where sun light shone and we
held hands; clasped and bent,
my hand under yours to be
safe in solitary time.
Before the routines and chores.
Before I captured it in rhyme.
More divine than art and words,
your gentle turn and soothing nod.
As if to say, “Again! Again!
I’ll meet you on that sun-warmed clod”.  


© Copyright 2004 Endlessecho - All Rights Reserved
PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA
1 posted 2004-04-27 09:40 AM


This is perfect. What a great poem.
And Coleridge is one of my favorites too...

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2004-04-27 09:50 AM


An excellent write.
Splendid comes to mind.
TD

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-04-27 10:53 AM


beautiful comes to mind when reading these words.  well done.
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
4 posted 2004-04-27 10:57 AM


Very good write.  I agree with all the above!
JL


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-04-27 01:56 PM


Wow..I felt like I was back in Lit class reading a classic...

Well done!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
6 posted 2004-04-27 02:03 PM


Before the routines and chores.
Before I captured it in rhyme.
More divine than art and words,
your gentle turn and soothing nod.
As if to say, “Again! Again!
I’ll meet you on that sun-warmed clod”.


Oh my!! How beautiful this is!!
Thanks for sharing it with us.
Hugs,
Ethel  


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2004-04-27 02:03 PM


"clod"?

Cloud?  

*Belabebeautiful*
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696
washington, USA
8 posted 2004-04-27 02:03 PM


The imagery in this was just beautiful...and the feelings are so vivid and potent, beautiful write! This style fits you well.
~Live and Laugh~

The nice thing about being a pesimest is that your either right, or pleasantly surprised.
~Bella~

Endlessecho
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398
I live within myself
9 posted 2004-04-27 02:58 PM


PK - A fellow Coleridge fan! Wonderful. :-)  He is the first poet that made me cross over to liking the "Old English" poetry.  I always had a hard time relating before I read him. His poetry seems timeless to me. I'm glad you enjoyed!

TD, JL and Gentle - Thank you so much! What kind words.

Susan - Thank you. That means so much coming from you.  I admire your writing greatly. And I'm so happy I was able to capture what I was reaching for.  

gg - Thank you so much!  I'm glad you enjoyed my contribution.

Sunshine - "clod" is right, but I guess if I was in that place, I may feel like I'm on a cloud.

Bela - It was wonderful finding a new style and it captured me quickly.  I must say I enjoyed writing this poem more than I ever would have imagined.  It just seemed to flow - and I like poetry best when it does that.  Seems more from the heart - than to strain for the words.  By the way - I love your quote!  



Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
10 posted 2004-05-21 05:20 PM


Endlessecho

This was beautiful to read and flow within, like water, yet words.  Thank you...so enjoyed!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
11 posted 2004-05-22 12:37 PM


Reminds me of a time I spent with my love of long ago before she moved away....James
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

12 posted 2004-05-22 01:37 PM


endlessecho,
   What a treat to read this...  Thanks for placing it here!  Excellent!
               Sadie

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
13 posted 2004-05-22 02:16 PM


yes...sigh...

beautiful write

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