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vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

0 posted 2004-04-26 08:17 AM

abstraction of an
afterthought
in circumspect of
circlescape

a maze
of toppled
walls and
rubble -
shattering of
glass in
double mirroring
through sliding doors and
windows paned with
memories...

now buried
'neath a
layering of
rhythm in the
quickening of
metronome and
moon in 'shine'
in perfect
measuring of
time

unceasing...

pausing not
to see the
shimmer
glow of
innocence in
childish eyes of
should have been
in vision of
what could have been...

but never came to be
because...

somewhere along the
road to old
a disillusioned
heart grew cold...

Peter pawned his
frying Pan
for bus fare
out of Never Land...
Dorothy's Oz was
just a dream and
clicking thrice
won't take you home
___________________

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2004-04-26 08:21 AM

What a ripple...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean

since 2001-08-14

Posts 35113
Canada eh.

2 posted 2004-04-26 08:26 AM

"Peter pawned his
frying Pan
for bus fare
out of Never Land...
Dorothy's Oz was
just a dream and
clicking thrice
won't take you home"

WOW!! And hello Vicky!!
Wonderful piece and I love this closing stanza!!
Hugs and love ya lady~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

3 posted 2004-04-26 09:27 AM

Very nice.

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2004-04-26 09:36 AM

vlraynes
An excellent write, enjoyed

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-11-19

Posts 7392
Ohio

5 posted 2004-04-26 11:24 AM

ill never understand why she didnt want to stay in oz indefinitely when home seemed so confining in the bible belt......just my humble opinion
nice to see your words again

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

6 posted 2004-04-26 12:34 PM

what can I say? a great piece!

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate

since 2000-10-29

Posts 19200
Between the Lines

7 posted 2004-04-26 04:05 PM

somewhere along the
road to old
a disillusioned
heart grew cold...

you can never go back...whether it is home or elsewhere in time...maybe that is a good thing

~smiling at a good write, V

M

iliana
Member Patricius

since 2003-12-05

Posts 13434
USA

8 posted 2004-04-26 04:49 PM

You are an amazing writer! Every line in this was fabulous!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-04-26 04:51 PM

I absolutely love this Vicky.

Hope all is well with you.

Mxx

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!

Skyfire

Member Elite

since 2000-12-27

Posts 3381
Riding

10 posted 2004-05-09 02:19 AM

The first time I read it I loved it (and forgot to reply) and the second time I read it, I loved it (and am now replying).

It just kind of works for me. There's no definite rhythm throughout the whole poem, but there are spots when it's just right on, and the contrast is just... great. I love it.

And that closing stanza? Wow. That's all I can say. Please, kind Mum, teach me your craft.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

11 posted 2004-05-09 02:33 AM

no, it sure won't

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

12 posted 2004-05-09 07:45 AM

I love it still, the second time around.

Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colours, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

13 posted 2004-05-09 08:50 AM

The good thing about a circlescape, my friend - is that it continues to go 'round and 'round... Perhaps even returning to the best of times. The trick is to recognize that glimmer and hop off the carousel to enjoy... Taking time to smell the roses, as they say... and remember to smile, Sherlock...

This is an excellent write, btw..

Kit McCallum

Administrator

Member Laureate

since 2000-04-30

Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada

14 posted 2004-05-09 09:54 AM

"Peter pawned his
frying Pan
for bus fare
out of Never Land...
Dorothy's Oz was
just a dream and
clicking thrice
won't take you home"

Wow Vicky ... I think my jaw dropped at the wonderful ending lines while reading this. I loved how you wrapped this lovely piece up, with a play on childhood dreams and stories. Really well done indeed!

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit

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