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Open Poetry #32
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wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn

0 posted 2004-04-25 10:02 PM





As I sat here writing a letter tonight
I was interrupted by a wasp
Busily pounding out an S.O.S
Against the window above my desk

And I wondered
What promise compelled him
Into my shack in the first place

Is he, perhaps, a small winged Magellan
Seeking to expand the universe he knows

And what now
Drives him to abandon his explorations
In such a desperate fashion?

Maybe he has remembered leaving a roast in the oven
Or now, simply misses someone’s face

And what of the mouse
That scurries off to work with his briefcase
Across the kitchen counter in a March Hare hurry

Leaving his love to settle the children
Safely behind the drywall or under the stove
Does he think this dwelling, prison or palace?

An old yellow dog lives here as well
Presently reposed in a comfortable curl
In her usual place on a chair by the woodstove

But looking as if she is resigned to her fate
Of living with vermin that steals food from her bowl
Flying annoyances that buzz her awake

And a man that believes this shack on a river
Is the loneliest place that he can imagine



© Copyright 2004 E.F.Rose - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2004-04-25 10:11 PM


"Is he, perhaps, a small winged Magellan
Seeking to expand the universe he knows

And what now
Drives him to abandon his explorations
In such a desperate fashion?

Maybe he has remembered leaving a roast in the oven
Or now, simply misses someone’s face"

Only someone who truly felt loneliness, could ponder the same from an insect.  Very cool write Ed.  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
2 posted 2004-04-25 10:51 PM


well I was smiling until the end...
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-04-25 10:53 PM


I'll come back to this, again...
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

4 posted 2004-04-25 10:56 PM


your writing is always so interesting; you take something small and common and continue building upon it until very significant; I like your style very much.
            Sadie

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
5 posted 2004-04-25 11:18 PM


Such imagery of the ordinary...yet you cause pause and wonder...how oft and how much I failed to miss that perhaps is not really there...

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-04-25 11:28 PM


Wranx -- an amazing write!  Once when I was visiting a friend of mine and we were having coffee at his table, I noticed a beautiful red Cardinal banging against his window trying to fly through.  He just kept trying.  When I asked about it, my friend said he had been doing it every morning for two weeks.  Now, why would he do that?  Perhaps, you've answered my question.  
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2004-04-26 12:10 PM


You just broke a witch's broken heart.

sigh.

hugs yeti.

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
8 posted 2004-04-26 07:53 AM


deep thoughts run all through this....nicely said sir...

~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
9 posted 2004-04-26 08:27 AM


wranx
With such a keen mind, be careful you don't cut yourself. LOL

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...
10 posted 2004-04-26 08:32 AM



Ed?...

...just

"When the power of love overcomes the love
of power the world will know peace."
--Jimi Hendrix

Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2004-04-26 05:14 PM


You write distinctly, and all your own..

I read this knowing you wrote it, and still don't expect half of the things I've come across..

The end hits hard, and though it may push and hurt and we may end up on the ground, it's amazing all the same.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

12 posted 2004-04-26 05:17 PM


Bro.

Mxx

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!


Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2004-04-26 08:22 PM


Hi Ed,

I like the way you weave this with your flowing imagination. It is a bit sad in the end there, perhaps the owner can see some beauty in this shack, this existence?

Corinne

jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
14 posted 2004-04-26 08:25 PM


Wow, good write my friend...personally wouldn't mind a little of that kind of loneliness....

jwesley

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
15 posted 2004-04-26 10:19 PM


this one cut to bone.
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
16 posted 2004-04-29 11:25 AM


..you..you..well..you  have done it again.
you are a hauntingly beautiful writer

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
17 posted 2004-04-29 03:37 PM


Thoughts to ponder on a warm summer evening.
Listening to insects of the night and wondering of their life.
Cool poem.
Bon-Bon

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

18 posted 2004-04-29 03:42 PM


even a place that is beautiful can feel alone..and it has nothing to do with whether or not you are surrounded by people or contemplating a wasp...

nicely written Ed...

MovesInSilence
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
19 posted 2004-04-29 11:17 PM


I wonder if the wasp or the mouse ever thinks the same about the human that stares at them ?
This is the first time i have read your poetry and i do love it

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