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Open Poetry #32
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-04-25 05:52 PM


Clay and Blank-Walls
From My Journals

~~~~

The deepest longing can shape you
taking form beneath fragile fingers

a stroke of words comfort - desire
mere reflections in midnights whisper

I miss my youth - my time of you-
now blended in a larger novel
of unshaped clay and blank walls -
a figure never given to  wind
for its right to stand alone and
be admired

Today the water is green and bronze
glistening all colors  in leaves and
dieing trees under moon
the land shows no mercy
nor does my heart

At night he comes to me
sometimes in the softest places
rainstorms and wind – the echo of  clocks
places,  just out of reach of my finding again
I curse such nature for being
so raw and exposed leaving me in its wake

My sorrow will scatter in winters first fall
frozen and suspended  
long after  candles have melted
and branches unfold their green eyes
and jealous limbs


Now, I believe, each touching in dark
will cradle my  escape just -
before your shadow greets me
for love or something greater

but-

Tonight I must be selfish
and leave the window closed -
letting the sea remain empty
with a  taste of salt
for each ache I feel
from your passing
~~
1965-1992



~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

1 posted 2004-04-25 06:05 PM


"I miss my youth - my time of you-
now blended in a larger novel
of unshaped clay and blank walls -
a figure never given to  wind
for its right to stand alone and
be admired

Today the water is green and bronze
glistening all colors  in leaves and
dieing trees under moon
the land shows no mercy
nor does my heart"


This reminds me of a photograph I saw today.  JM took it.  I'll tell her to send it to you.  Enjoyed Lauren.  

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
2 posted 2004-04-25 06:07 PM


Sigh...this was wonderful...I read it again and again...

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
3 posted 2004-04-25 06:35 PM


You paint the wind Lauren...

Always such vivid silence in your writing.  

Namaste

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
4 posted 2004-04-25 06:40 PM


Truly beautiful!
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-04-25 07:37 PM


it's okay to be selfish
Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
6 posted 2004-04-25 08:41 PM


such vivid imagery - such deep feeling - such wonderful poetry - you do it superbly - Paul
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-04-25 09:43 PM


yes..there was silence..
with only the sound of the wind and the ocean to break the spell.
Beautiful as you are....hugs~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
   is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
8 posted 2004-04-25 10:27 PM


~ I first had to get past that striking new photo... damn!

"My sorrow will scatter in winters first fall
frozen and suspended  
long after  candles have melted
and branches unfold their green eyes
and jealous limbs"

~ And then the words, especially to me this verse, equaled the beauty behind them.

~ You may never know how much your words remeind me of Opeth... in fact because of your words, I am compelled to print these words... for you, Lauren... although they are not mine:

In the name of desperation
I call your name
A lamentation I sigh
Again and again

Spiritual eclipse
The gateways are closed for me to seek

The night...
A veil of stars, watching
My shadow is born from light
The light of the eye, in darkness

Over troubled waters memories soar
Endlessly, searching night and day
The moonlight caresses a lonely hill
With the calmness of a whisper

I wear a naked soul
A blank face in the streaming water
It is cold in here
Frost scar my coat with dust

Eyes attach to your mute portrait
We spoke only through thoughts
Together we gazed, awaited
Hours brought thirst and the rising sun

Sunbirds leave their dark recesses
Shadows glid the archways

Do not turn your face towards me
Confronting me with my loneliness
You are in a forest unknown
The secret orchard
And your voice is vast and achromatic
But still so precious

Lullaby of the crescent moon took you
Mesmerized, its kaleidoscopic face
Granted you a hollow stare
Another soul within the divine herd

insert incredible riff along with the lyrics

I have kept it
The amaranth symbol
Hiddin inside the golden shrine
Until we rejoice in the meadow
Of the end
When we both walk the shadows
It will set ablaze and vanish
Black rose immortal

It is getting dark again
Dusk shuffle across the fields
The evening trees moan as if they knew
At night I always dream of you



"I have gone away. The bed is cold and empty. Trees bend their boughs toward the earth. And nighttime birds float as black faces.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
9 posted 2004-04-25 11:43 PM


Every image laments the loss -- lovely, sad, beautiful.  
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
10 posted 2004-04-26 01:02 AM


Lauren, another beauty from your journal...
written from your heart.I love the poem and
your new photo. Both show your beauty, my friend.
Hugs,  
Ethel

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

11 posted 2004-04-26 08:19 AM


The deepest longing can shape you
taking form beneath fragile fingers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I can not move past your opening lines, I am held to them......that thought...and all it emcompasses, is both emotionally and poetically profound.

I miss my youth - my time of you-
now blended in a larger novel
of unshaped clay and blank walls -
~a figure never given to  wind
for its right to stand alone and
be admired~


Today the water is green and bronze
glistening all colors  in leaves and
dieing trees under moon
the land shows no mercy
nor does my heart

~ At night he comes to me
sometimes in the softest places
rainstorms and wind – the echo of  clocks
places,  just out of reach of my finding again
I curse such nature for being
so raw and exposed leaving me in its wake~


My sorrow will scatter in winters first fall
frozen and suspended  
long after  candles have melted
and branches unfold their green eyes
and jealous limbs


~Now, I believe, each touching in dark
will cradle my  escape just -
before your shadow greets me
for love or something greater~
  

but-

Tonight I must be selfish
and leave the window closed -
letting the sea remain empty
with a  taste of salt
for each ache I feel
from your passing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I pasted the whole poem here with the intentions of editing some out and then my usual of highlighting the verses that were my fave...I am unable to edit any of it out...each verse belongs TO the other...
each word breathes with the one before and after...and then as one...they sigh this....


~for love or something greater~  


yeeessssssssssssssss ... exactly ........


(ykikyk)





Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
12 posted 2004-04-26 10:02 AM


Duncan~

Thank you for stopping by, I appreciate your visit...
~

azblond~
thank you...for stopping by as well....I appreciate your thoughts

~

Local Rebel~

'vivid silence'  yes, thank you for that...

~

Grover~
truly thank you...nice to see you...

~

Dixie~

every now and then I have to be, thank you for understanding....hugsss lady

~

Paul~

I enjoyed your comment sir -- much thanks...

~

Nancy~
such a sweet silence, thank you and loveya pretty lady!

~

Mike~
I emailed you..sigh.. thank you for the lovely response ...

~

iliana~

I appreciate you taking time to read.....thanks much dear..

~

Ethel~

my journals are long and full....thank you much lady luv ya

~

JM~

yes for love or greater....sigh Ikykik...yes you do
and the picture sigh ever lovely as your heart and reply....thank you for being you!


~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
13 posted 2004-04-26 10:52 AM


"Mike ~ I emailed you..sigh..  thank you for the lovely response ..."

~ You are welcome, Lauren... and thanks for the e-mail sampler



Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

14 posted 2004-04-26 11:16 AM


Tonight I must be selfish
and leave the window closed -
letting the sea remain empty
with a  taste of salt
for each ache I feel
from your passing

~*~


aujussy wolf
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2003-08-09
Posts 1215
Michigan
15 posted 2004-04-26 09:58 PM


long after  candles have melted
and branches unfold their green eyes



nicey

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