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Open Poetry #32
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Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space

0 posted 2004-04-24 04:38 PM


red ribbon coiled
another stripped
within the shadows,
boy.

how many left
i wonder

before the final fig leaf?

toss and turn to
the scratch and claw
of thought
                  to surface

like rats from sinking ships

as another day
sneaks through the blinds

how many more
we wonder


© Copyright 2004 raphael giuffrida - All Rights Reserved
Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

1 posted 2004-04-24 04:40 PM


ah, but there is really only one
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2004-04-24 05:24 PM


It's GREAT to read you Bello.. and this is fantastic, I really love the thought behind it.

you

I'm keeping it

Mxx

What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god
What are you my twin? You affect me like you are my twin.

Go Alanis!


Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
3 posted 2004-04-24 06:35 PM


Very nice!
Local Parasite
Deputy Moderator 10 Tours
Member Elite
since 2001-11-05
Posts 2527
Transylconia, Winnipeg
4 posted 2004-04-24 08:44 PM


Now THIS---is what I'm talking about.  Creative, bright, the dark sheds light on your subject matter.  It makes me miss Mr. Squirrel, sort of, I wonder if he's hiding in any of the walls here?

Very nice, I'll say that much---at the very least, you've got a grasp of subtlety that I admire.

Brian

http://www.livejournal.com/~new_formalism

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
5 posted 2004-04-24 08:45 PM


Excellent thought provoking post.
Hugs~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
   is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
6 posted 2004-04-24 10:54 PM


I have lots of perseverence.

In the face of the alarm clock -- I almost always persevere in the hitting of the snooze button.

another layer Raph -- lets see what's under the rest eh?

good pen man

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
7 posted 2004-04-24 10:57 PM


Oh...it is good to turn your thoughts loose again inside my mind!

Thank you.

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

8 posted 2004-04-25 12:02 PM


Tapping fingers on keys, really can't find anything to say. That's not a bad thing either.

Keep writing, Rephy.

K

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
9 posted 2004-04-25 04:09 AM


Perhaps Krawdad, it's finding it that's the problem

Thanks bella always make me smile

Thank you grover

thanks brian, subtlety is a great device but i'd argue some subjects call for raw or blunt emotion (Bukowski)

Thanks Nancy

Reb just scared of getting lost in the Shadow, there's a danger in digging to far perhaps?

thanks icebox always a pleasure to see you

Thanks mr frodo..er..Kamla

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-04-25 04:35 AM



Kaoru
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
11 posted 2004-04-25 06:21 AM


Damn, you canadians got it in your blood!
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