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Open Poetry #32
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charlotte in the corner
| Open Poetry #32 |
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charlotte in the corner |
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mytuesdaywishes Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254a voice from the musicbox 
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this night is far too beautiful to waste, charlotte just like you are far too beautiful to forget come home soon because the tennis courts are lonely and so am i we can walk out in the steamy streetlamps slowly as if we had enough time and i'll carry my guitar on my back and we can lay out behind the net all night staring at the blinking lights that in your iris and in mine, were made to be shooting stars between the long white lines that keep out all the things that make us cry and, charlotte, if i could, i'd give you a keepsake of me and tell you to wear it when it hurts so you can chain me to your heart a shackle perhaps, oh but how deeply we lived in those shackles we wore back then, charlotte and dreamed of a freedom we secretly hoped did not actually exist and it was always in the eyes and never in the words because suffering is sweetest when unspoken and we were always in the wrong and never in the right because you said it yourself, my dearest friend, it was meant to be the antithesis of perfection and it was only then that i or we ever knew perfection as though somehow our own dramatic irony saved us as though somehow we kept getting caught in our own web i lost my footing like i tend to do when i'm awake and you were in the corner, tying up loose ends you were sitting smiling at me as you interweaved the fabric, a piece of me, a piece of you because you knew we were both in pieces but you on the carpet floor had eight legs to catch me one to stroke my hair while you told me i was pretty and one to beep my nose so many times i grew up and one to rub my back to compensate for burdens and one to squeeze my hand to reciprocate my pride one to brush the tears from my dimpled cheeks and one to write to me when the hours drained my pen and one to play familiar songs in unfamiliar keys one to hold me tightly while i slept with my fear so charlotte, come home soon you can teach me how to dance again and tell me all the secrets that take your breath away i'll even let you take my pillow when you go back to school i'll even let you take my memories and the books that changed our lives and i'll grab hold of the eight arms, so weathered and so beautiful, and i'll always carry them in and out through the patterns of my life and here are my arms to weave into your next masterful web sometimes a tangled mess is really quite perfect don't leave me out of it, charlotte joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless... |
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| © Copyright 2004 Rachael - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
I don't know how to reply, because you've left me speechless..completely. This is incredible. Maree  What are you my god? You touch me like you are my god |
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Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
more here than I can catch in one reading . . . |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
All mankind loves a lover... such a responsibility -- friendship is.. no better subject and you've written well of it.. thanks be to you |
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SimplyGold Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453 |
This was compeling. I enjoyed your writing very much. You express beautifully your emotion and tenderness. It brought me back to when my life was in blossom and everything was within reach as it is now for you. Keep writing, it is a gift. SG |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Truly, truly wonderful... a real pleasure to read! |
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azblond Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637The Steamy Desert |
This is one of the best pieces I have ever read...to say you are gifted would do no justice to the gift... Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind... |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
"i'll even let you take my memories and the books that changed our lives and i'll grab hold of the eight arms, so weathered and so beautiful, and i'll always carry them in and out through the patterns of my life and here are my arms to weave into your next masterful web sometimes a tangled mess is really quite perfect don't leave me out of it, charlotte" Someone sent me a link to this earlier today. Really, really a good write. Much enjoyed...  |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
oh but how deeply we lived ~*~ You swim your seas very well. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
glorious expression of passion here |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
mytuesdaywishes - excellent writing of feelings and thoughts, liked it much... BC |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
excellently expressed; I enjoyed this more each time I read it. Sadie |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Enjoyed...James |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
indeed, too beautiful a night to waste |
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Aenimal Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350the ass-end of space |
Some amazing images in this, thanks for sharing |
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forne_marin Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140Spartanburg, South Carolina |
This is wonderful. Using the name "Charlotte" for your eight legged woman evokes some powerful images. I wonder, though, if it does hurt you as much as help you. You leave your reader wondering if this "Charlotte" is a black widow. I mean, once this is all said and done, is she going to eat him? It's very ponderable. Good read, though. I really enjoyed it. I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry. |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
OMG -- great write about friendship an love.  |
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