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Open Poetry #32
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JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

0 posted 2004-04-23 07:55 PM


The Sweetest One


There's no one in this world
like my sweet girl.
She's got everything I need.
She does it for me.

Take yesterday for example.
She told me to meet her at ten thirty.
"It's so nice to see you,"
was the first thing she said
when she met me.
Now I don't have to tell you that I
feel exactly the same way, but it
sounds so sweet when she says it,
that it just blows me away.

Like flowers in a meadow
that need the morning sun
I hunger for my sweet girl,
for she's the sweetest one.


JamesLee
April23
2004

© Copyright 2004 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved
Opeth
Senior Member
since 2001-12-13
Posts 1543
The Ravines
1 posted 2004-04-23 08:13 PM


All I can say is that I appreciate how you appreciate your "girl" - she seems very special, so don't ever lose her.


dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
2 posted 2004-04-23 08:15 PM


Nice...just real nice...reminds me of my
young and lovely wife.

loner187
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 106
Upstate New York
3 posted 2004-04-23 10:53 PM


It's good, but missing something. I think you should add more to it. The ending isn't a real ending to me, it needs more. Then it would be better. More descriptions and just build on it, see what you get!

What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?

mytuesdaywishes
Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 254
a voice from the musicbox
4 posted 2004-04-24 12:41 PM


lovely, she's a lucky girl...she's even got a man who can rhyme

joy has its own justice. and dreams are languid and lawless. and everything bows to beauty, when it's fierce and when it's flawless...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
5 posted 2004-04-24 04:39 PM


Sweet begets sweet!

~ It was so nice to read you!

Aloha from Ontario!
EA

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
6 posted 2004-04-24 06:12 PM


Awh...now what girl wouldn't love to read this from her guy?!

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
7 posted 2004-04-24 07:11 PM


Sometimes just a few loving words make our day, as you show here.
Lovely.
Love, Margherita

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
8 posted 2004-04-24 07:32 PM


Hey, this is one cool write... sweet city!
Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2004-04-24 09:16 PM


James - having a sweetest one is good...

BC

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
10 posted 2004-04-25 01:26 AM


Thank you Opeth, dingusjr, loner187, mytuesdaywish, EarthAngel, Azblonds, Margherita, Grover and Bill for the nice responses...James
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