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Open Poetry #32
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Asleep, Astray (Frost Model, ty liz)
| Open Poetry #32 |
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Asleep, Astray (Frost Model, ty liz) |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa 
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Asleep, Astray This April night the stars are few, With thin clouds veiled, but still in view, And as I lay beneath their light So faint, I’m glad they’re shinning through. My thoughts are hazy, longings bright- They sing as silence, still the night Into desire’s drowsy dance; A sweet unconscious appetite. As eyelids droop, and dreams advance To transform formal into trance, I revel in the gath'ring gray that shades tomorrow’s truth with chance. The stars are dimming far away, They drip in streaks that slowly sway In rhythm, softly, hear them say Another night, asleep, astray. [This message has been edited by Kevin (04-21-2004 07:34 PM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Kevin Bednarz - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
awesome rhyme scheme here Kevin! wonderfully done! |
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Kevin
since 1999-11-02
Posts 729Torrington, Ct, Usa |
Thank you PS, its taken from the Frost challenge in the poetry workshop, wish I started checking that out sooner Hope all is well with you tonight |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 this must have gotten missed... |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
I agree, great poem! JL  |
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garysgirl 
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
The stars are dimming far away, They drip in streaks that slowly sway In rhythm, softly, hear them say Another night, asleep, astray. Kevin, this is absolutely beautiful. I love poetry that rhymes...it's my favorite kind, though I love all poetry.  Hugs, Ethel |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Kevin, You've done very well with this, it has an ethereal touch to it along with great imagery. I'm sure "Robert" would be pleased. Doc |
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Endlessecho Member
since 2003-09-05
Posts 398I live within myself |
You've definitely captured Frost's rhythms here. Yet, made them come alive in your own way. This is almost hypnotic. great peice. |
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Lady In White
since 2001-02-12
Posts 2799USA |
A welcome addition to the poems of Frost! Well done, Kevin! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent, Kevin! Frost perfection! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
I am proud to call "The Rhythms of Frost" challenge a total success. THis is just so lovely and lyrical. Great images, too. BRAVO Kevin! Robert would be jealous. I sometimes use this trick in my poetry. I'll imitate the meter and rhyme scheme of a song I know or of a paricularly beautiful poem such a Frost's poem. Just look at the results! It works! THanks Kevin Liz |
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wings of the moon Member
since 2003-03-27
Posts 323Pink bubblegum land |
Lovely stuff... |
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ice Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404Pennsylvania |
Kevin I wish some creative writing teachers could read this...You know the ones that profess that rhyme is dead. As long as there are poets that write in this manner, and it raises my emotions high as this poem does...well I wont say what I am thinking they can do with their short sighted thoughts..lol excellent poetry enjoyed muchly ------ice ><> |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Beautifully written Kevin! What an enchanting and soothing flow this has. Simply a delight to read. Very well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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