navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Heaven Sakes
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Heaven Sakes Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2004-04-19 12:50 PM



~*~

I heard you passed through town the other day
looking in on some property you never bothered to bid on.
Could have made yourself a small fortune
if you'd played your cards right.
Instead you road off into the sunset and never looked back.

Kind of reminds me of myself,
and some of the other town folk
who carried a torch too far and came away with nothing,
reckon that's why I don't miss you much.

Now, I hate to break it to you honey
but your band wagon ain't what it used to be
although I'm sure you can find a couple takers
to hitch up and ride a while.

Aw mean,
what women in her right mind could resist your pitch
but it's only fair, mind you,
that a lady knows which fork to use.

Kind of figured you didn't care much for the sassy type
fast and easy kept it simple
and I understand it might have cost you a pretty penny
to wine and dine them all at the same time.

Now don't get me wrong darlin',
I'm not saying you forced it down.
But the way I see it, shots of moonshine say alot about a man,
not that my tastes are that expensive,
but I'm a bit partial to finer things.

I can sit here sipping my mint juleps without shedding a single tear,
for heaven sakes.
Cause they go down real smooth without burning up my insides.
Honest to Gawd,
I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them.

Truth is sugar,
I've moved up from the penny candy store
and away from that part of town
where most folks are still bartering with their hearts.

Course that's just fine and dandy by me,
I still have alot to give,
and I've got no intention of selling out
for some nickel and dime thrill.

Well shoot and damn,
I've been so busy flying off the handle
I forgot to mention I opened up my own candy store.
Nope, I don't sell hearts or anything too fancy
but you can bet your last silver dollar,
it's just as sweet as can be.

~*~


© Copyright 2004 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-04-19 12:56 PM


OOOOOOO YEAH!!!

SMACK

DOWN!!!!


Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
2 posted 2004-04-19 01:17 PM


YES!!  You tell'em Bluesy!!
Love the way you handled this one.
Hugs~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
   is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
3 posted 2004-04-19 01:22 PM


Now I am not too partial to many sweets
Tending towards pies and cakes instead of hard candy,
Perhaps a single piece that can last a while
Got any in your store like that?

Enjoyed the poem
And it’s folksy style

Gloom

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2004-04-19 01:26 PM


well written, these types of guys are certainly the adventurous ones, but...they are very intimidated by independent smart woman, their own age...they've got a thing for children, woman who could be their daughters age...to me that speaks volumns about their sense of confidence

Wonderful write and read

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
5 posted 2004-04-19 01:35 PM


Very interesting.  Sounds convincing, well almost.  Very creative and a great write.
JL

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

6 posted 2004-04-19 02:20 PM



Aw mean,
what women in her right mind could resist your pitch
but it's only fair, mind you,
that a lady knows which fork to use.

I don't know if you meant it to be this way, but I laughed aloud at when I read which fork to use "as the pitchfork"--too cute!
I liked the folksy of this,too.  It is a different write from you than I expected.  Such versatility...
            Sadelite

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
7 posted 2004-04-19 02:25 PM


LOVED THIS!
LOL, you certainly put a smile on my face..
fantastic sassy write!!

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
8 posted 2004-04-19 02:32 PM


Oh, this is good, Bluesy gal!  Gave me a chuckle!  And I'm a thinking there's some truth in the fact that women are the stronger sex - guess we must be to come out on the right side of tears.  
garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2004-04-19 02:57 PM


YOU TELL EM, GIRL!!!

Lori, I LOOOOVVVEEEE this!!!!!
It's so sassy!! You might not can tell
it on here, but I've got a really sassy
streak, too.....when enough is enough!!!
(Just ask Gary!!! LOL)
Love ya, my friend
Ethel

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
10 posted 2004-04-19 03:13 PM


I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them.



well, Lori, this has to be the one that takes the cake...I love it and all that stands behind its meaning.

hugss and more hugss
M

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
11 posted 2004-04-19 06:05 PM


I see you talking and walking tall and straight, while the one you talk to ducks...
Great write.
Love, Margherita

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
12 posted 2004-04-19 06:18 PM


Lori, good for you, both for the poem and your sass!  
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

13 posted 2004-04-19 06:22 PM


Smiling from ear to ear here Ms Blues...yee-hahhh you go baby!

Love it.

Maree.

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
14 posted 2004-04-19 08:48 PM


LOL~ I'm loving all your replies!
Thank you everyone for letting me vent,
and reading this little ditty of mine.

forne_marin
Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina
15 posted 2004-04-24 01:03 PM


This is very nice. It's got a great rhythm to it, and it's got a wonderful VOICE. The speaker is very colloquial and it suits the poem perfectly. I really enjoyed this one!

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
16 posted 2004-04-24 01:11 PM



A sassy write indeed!

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
17 posted 2004-04-24 01:11 PM



"I don't mind watching reruns long as I don't have a part in them."

~ Me neither, girlfriend!

"and I've got no intention of selling out
for some nickel and dime thrill."

~ and I repeat, "Me neither, girlfriend!" lol

Fun and folksy, but I definitely get the drift of the undercurrents!


Linda


jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
18 posted 2004-04-24 01:25 PM


I can picture you standing there hands on hips spouting off too!  Great piece (of mind!).

jimmy

Greeneyes
Deputy Moderator 50 ToursDeputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
19 posted 2004-04-24 06:12 PM


sassy is right....vent all ya wish....it heals the heart... pretty lady

~~**~~
The way you move me
I walk with your shadow
With your silhouette
Leave the light on
It always comes
Back to you
~~**~~

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
20 posted 2004-04-24 06:15 PM


Nah nah nah nah nah naaaah!

Loved it

Loved it

Loved it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
21 posted 2004-04-24 07:29 PM


yea
go for the jugular
love that blonde!!!

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

22 posted 2004-04-24 07:37 PM


"Well shoot and damn..."

That line cracks me up no matter how many times I hear it...  
Love this "voice" Lori!!

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
23 posted 2004-04-24 09:00 PM


Bluesy - I bet you are as sweet as can be...

BC

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Heaven Sakes

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary