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Open Poetry #32
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rainydaymusic
Junior Member
since 2004-01-14
Posts 26


0 posted 2004-04-18 11:27 PM



Watched the sun set,
felt it grow cool,
had the one I love on my mind.

My soul,
it renders my eyes blind
and I know this cause
you can’t see God.

Still, I could have seen you,
tonight.
But you would not have let me touch you
(and that is fine.)

In God’s presence, anyway,
I am bland.  
(But who cares?  Do you believe what I say?)
My words cannot describe this world,
not like they can your pretty, lovely body.
(I write for you, please hear me!)
And I am not good at moving my hands through the soil,
not like I could your hair;
or getting my knees bloody from working, I am not good at this,
not good like I do when I pray to you,
or when I preach to you that I love you,
(and I do, damn I do.)

I watch serpents slither by me as it gets dark;
there is glory just past these snakes in the marsh,
And the cries of geese will echo down the walls;
it is in their sound I cease to hear anything at all.
They’ve got a tongue of their own
but a nature that is mine.

Who puts this pen in my hand?  
My inspiration or my faith?
My love or my life?  
And to whom should I cry?
(Do you understand when I cry?)  



© Copyright 2004 rainydaymusic - All Rights Reserved
jwesley
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563
Spring, Texas
1 posted 2004-04-18 11:31 PM


enjoyed the read of this quite powerful write.

jwesley

azblond
Senior Member
since 1999-07-01
Posts 637
The Steamy Desert
2 posted 2004-04-18 11:36 PM


Very enjoyable.  Thanks for sharing!

Let my words fall first upon deaf ears before a closed mind...

pictureme
Member
since 2003-11-28
Posts 248
Ohio, USA
3 posted 2004-04-18 11:49 PM


The pen in the hand
inspired by the faith
of love of a life~
I understand your cry!
pictureme :-)

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-04-18 11:51 PM


Much emotive pull in this poem...I felt it!  
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

5 posted 2004-04-18 11:54 PM


Hi there RDM..Enjoyed this very much... especially this....

I watch serpents slither by me as it gets dark;
there is glory just past these snakes in the marsh,
And the cries of geese will echo down the walls;
it is in their sound I cease to hear anything at all.
They’ve got a tongue of their own
but a nature that is mine.


Fantastic!


Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

rainydaymusic
Junior Member
since 2004-01-14
Posts 26

6 posted 2004-04-19 08:39 AM


thanks for the responses
ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
7 posted 2004-04-19 09:06 AM


How excellent the power and construction of this verse.
TD

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
8 posted 2004-04-19 11:28 AM


A powerful outpour of your heart.
Love, Margherita

garysgirl
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
9 posted 2004-04-19 11:31 AM


RDM, this is a very strong and emotional
write. I felt it. Thanbks for sharing.
Hugs,
Ethel

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-04-19 12:40 PM


I understand why

I understand

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
11 posted 2004-04-19 12:59 PM


Came back for another read...
Extremely well expressed.
TD

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2004-04-19 01:09 PM


Some great lines in this piece RDM!
Very much enjoyed the read.
Hugs~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
   is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
13 posted 2004-04-19 01:15 PM


Very nice read.

JL

nn
Member
since 2000-09-18
Posts 75

14 posted 2004-04-19 02:25 PM


Beautiful
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