navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Forever Green and a Little Risky (response to muted's challenge)
Open Poetry #32
Post A Reply Post New Topic Forever Green and a Little Risky (response to muted's challenge) Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519


0 posted 2004-04-16 06:07 PM



Leaves stayed on trees
Always verdant.
Never did they fall or stray
Or in wind  become child’s racing play.

Fell they not on ground
Orange red or dressed in golden brown;
No leaves raked in circle round
For young hearts to jump and bound.

Never had they had the crave
To leave the mother tree
Never had they faith to see
Where they could go, what they could be,
the warming coal upon the night,
a glow from within the Earth, a diamond bright

They didn’t know if flung together
They’d grace the earthen floor.
In their brown, they’d crunch and hatch
To be not one,
but a hundred pieces more.

Not a  wind  could tease them to take a path
to detach selves from oaken branch;  
Leaves could not kiss the soil
or bathe in their sunlit oil.

No rainbows in puddles,
No shelter for Easter egg
No swishing sound in the woods
No  leaves to beg notice
  of their colorful range.

No Autumn to fall upon starving artist.


  But as always, there’s at least one rebel in the crew
That is a little pesty and a little risky
  A little drunken on life and maybe a little whiskey
Who explores beyond the tree
Splattering soft energy and  Fall color
upon a tapestry.




[This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-17-2004 12:45 PM).]

© Copyright 2004 Sadelite - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2004-04-16 06:37 PM


That little one sounds a lot like me.?
Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

2 posted 2004-04-16 08:05 PM


iliana,
    (Read muted's challenge on the discussion page)  Take care.
                 uhgs,
                 Sade

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2004-04-16 09:00 PM


ughs to you, too, sis!  lol!  

I re-read the poem after reading Muted's challenge.  The last verse said it all.  Still makes sense to me versus the rest of the family, though, in many ways, being that I was the one that tumbled off.  

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

4 posted 2004-04-16 09:06 PM


Yes you did and are blowing creatively in the wind.  Thanks for checking out into this.
                 Sade
                          

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
5 posted 2004-04-16 09:57 PM


Sade

A lovely personification...and wonderful poem.


Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

6 posted 2004-04-16 10:02 PM


Thank you very much Martie.  It was inspired by Muted.  Her words touched me.
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
7 posted 2004-04-16 11:38 PM


WOW SADIE!!
wow tears in my eyes, this is gorgeous!!!

speechless here

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
8 posted 2004-04-16 11:46 PM


I really enjoyed this -- quite lovely.  I especially liked the ending.

Susan

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

9 posted 2004-04-17 09:32 AM


Susan,
  I'm glad you enjoyed it.  I liked the ending best, too.  I like to try to find the positive in things "most" of the time.  There is too little time to be down in the dumps.  Thank you for reading and kind response.
                  Sade

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

10 posted 2004-04-17 09:36 AM


muted,
   This is yours to make changes as you'd like. I wrote it for you but may give it to someone from my church, also. You have such grace with words to change it if a thought is incomplete or inappropriate, I'm sure you'll make it right.  Good luck.  If you do, I'd love to see the new version.  I'm sure it would be a beaut!
                    Sade

[This message has been edited by Sadelite (04-17-2004 10:11 AM).]

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
11 posted 2004-04-18 01:49 AM


I would never change a single word..never..
i would steal away its essence one letter at a time in doing so...and i dont want to lose a drop of you...you created this beauty..you will live on in every single word of it...

there is nothing i can do that will improve upon perfection.

Thank you for everything

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
12 posted 2004-04-18 10:23 AM


What profound beauty in this piece.
Truly captivating and touching.
Your heart listened well!
Love and hugs. Margherita

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

13 posted 2004-04-18 12:21 PM


muted,
   thank you for your kindness.  Good luck to you.  I hope this will be of some help.

                    Sade


Margherita,
   You are more than generous in your comments.  I appreciate your words and thoughts.
           Thank you,
             Sade


Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
14 posted 2009-07-13 04:58 AM


This one is not to be missed, though I somehow missed it the first time around.
Profoundly beautiful, it offered me a perspective today that wasn't on my palette yesterday. Thank you so much.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
15 posted 2009-07-13 11:43 AM


Kacy,

   You're so very welcome.  I don't know what perspective that might be, but I hope it is helpful.  I truly appreciate you and all you give to color my palette and those of others.   You have shown us true grace through tough times.  Hang in there!  We love you.

a great big hug to you,

Cathy

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #32 » Forever Green and a Little Risky (response to muted's challenge)

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary