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Open Poetry #32
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JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA

0 posted 2004-04-16 11:19 AM


Dreamer of the Red Dawn

Red dawn creeps across the skyline, the city noises seem far away.
Now he is yearning for sleep, which will soon have its own way.
A place to wake his dreams of tomorrows and fallen yesterdays
his life’s path for other’s eyes sorrow, pain numbed, of forgotten days.

Silver streaked hair tucked beneath his green cap fits snug.
He settles down in his cardboard home, covering with his tattered rug…
And another day of dreams, and a loathing, how could he ever give up this drug.
Day soon turns to dusk: he awakens from his dreams, thirsts, and hunger,
and his reality’s shrug.

Wincing in pain he pulls to his side, he rolls slowly and lifts to his feet.
Pain of hunger, his body yearning, and tugging for food he had enjoyed,
only in his sleep.

Pain of age, beckoning and pushing him to enter into death’s gate.
He hesitates, then ignores, then remembers her once more…

That green-eyed girl in his dreams, with raven black hair.  
Remembers her smile as she had passed by, he smiling back if only a dare.
Remembers that night he sketched out her face, as she disappeared into that one night,
Forever gone from beyond his sight…
      
He runs to his street corner where each day he must go, with pencil and paper for art,
drawing faces, he doesn’t even know.

Holding on to another day, searching as his drama unfolds, dreamer of the red dawn,
living his life untold.

Surviving on a street where his images play.  
Where he lives in a sketch, a memory, and a molding of clay…

This dreamer of the red dawn…



© Copyright 2004 JL - All Rights Reserved
loner187
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 106
Upstate New York
1 posted 2004-04-16 11:25 AM


Wow, this is beautiful. I love poems like this, the surreal and dream-like feel. You use such great imagery in this one, and painted a nice picture in my head!

The first step to recovery is to admit your addiction. So, here it is:

I, Amanda Barmash, am addicted to Ben Harper.

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
2 posted 2004-04-16 11:27 AM


Brilliant....This poem is filled with vivid images that fill the mind as one reads. A stunning poem with realities lessons...

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

3 posted 2004-04-16 11:34 AM


Hi JL and good morning...

Your writes astoundingly grasp hold of the reader from beginning to end...the content displays not only vivid images, but the wenching part of life's heart stops...incredibly good read and write.  sending smiles and hugs...wishing I could write as you do.  Lovely

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
4 posted 2004-04-16 12:38 PM


JL

A sensitive look into this character...so well done!!

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
5 posted 2004-04-16 12:40 PM


JL~
You not only word-sketched the character ... you colored his world vividly for the reader~
Nice work~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
6 posted 2004-04-16 01:19 PM


Very nice!
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