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Open Poetry #32
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Kaoru
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Member Elite
since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

0 posted 2004-04-15 04:34 AM



you always were
so beautifully fake
and plastic
crunching, melted
wings of faith.

feline and
canine,
teeth beared and
claws attached
to the base of my
spine to
remind me
of pain.

oh, chariot
carries you away
and
I do not weep
for you,
as I
dark corner myself
and lick
my wounds.

© Copyright 2004 Meghan Armitage - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-04-15 05:08 AM


sometimes it's best they go
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-04-15 05:22 AM


This is really nice:

"feline and
canine,
teeth beared and
claws attached
to the base of my
spine to
remind me
of pain."

I love the meter of it, and the internal rhyme scheme wraps around to make it sum up so nicely too. Without a bit of self-consciousness.

mmmm...I like.

Very instinctive throughout, everything just fits.



yay to read you again!


Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-04-15 05:51 AM



Very vivid, Meghan.
I, too, have missed you,
and it's good to see
your thoughts again.

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

4 posted 2004-04-15 06:18 AM


Hiya Meg...how are you?     Good to see you, a very powerful read and write.  
SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
5 posted 2004-04-15 09:03 AM


I swear.....every time I read you.....you are awesome
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
6 posted 2004-04-15 09:39 AM


Awesome...awesome write!!!
Hugs~

To have lived the dream of a love so true...
   is to have seen a glimpse of heaven.

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

7 posted 2004-04-15 01:31 PM


Whew...you so often leave me speechless.

Eric

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
8 posted 2004-04-15 01:36 PM


I know that "you" to..

Nicely done.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-04-15 05:24 PM


feline and
canine,
teeth beared and
claws attached
to the base of my
spine to
remind me
of pain.


Yeah I know someone who does that to me.

It's always, always a pleasure to read you.

Maree

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
10 posted 2004-04-20 08:00 PM


Excellent write!
JL

gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA
11 posted 2004-04-21 12:05 PM


I do not weep for you....

this was like an emotional slap across a face. I know a few people I relate with this.

xxx

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