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Open Poetry #31
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Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida

0 posted 2004-04-14 03:12 PM





I saw you in the restaurant.
It must have been a treat
to be able to go out.
You were so excited.
Jabbering endlessly
to your father and brother.

You didn’t let their lack
of interest bother you.
Guess it was the norm.
I watched you with keen interest.
Your enthusiasm like a spring bloom,
so happy to greet the world.

You stood by your father
as he paid.
Your words suddenly slurred,
with a roll of eyes,
I saw you fall.
I watched you seize.

Disbelief shadowed my face,
for the first thing you saw,
when function was restored
was your father,
screaming at you for getting too excited,
and causing an embarrassment.

As your father’s words
excited you once again,
from somewhere I heard your brother shriek,
“Get him out of here!”

I turned away,
shedding a tear for their lack,
the scars you would wear,
and the enthusiasm that would soon disappear.  



"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

© Copyright 2004 Susan Caldwell - All Rights Reserved
Brad Majors
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1 posted 2004-04-14 03:14 PM


awesome one susan
SEA
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Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
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with you
2 posted 2004-04-14 03:15 PM


painful painful read...
Balladeer
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Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
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Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2004-04-14 06:42 PM


Few things anger me more that ill-treatment or inconsideration of a child. This one makes me angy...as well as sad.
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-04-14 06:43 PM



Dittoing Dear...
but you portrayed reality
very well...
perhaps that's why it hurts so much...

see you in #32, Susan...

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-04-14 11:10 PM


You know...this wasn't my story, I just made it mine.  It happened in a restaurant in Indiana and it was my sister that witnessed it.  When she told me, I was, well pissed.  So I wrote it out.  

Thank you for the kind replies.

(32 it is Karilea!)

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

muted
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since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
6 posted 2004-04-15 12:49 PM


oh this hurts!! oh how angry i would have been if i were to watch this scene in person!
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-04-15 03:31 AM


Susan, this nearly has me crying as it brought back many memories of all the precious moments I saw ripped apart by similiar type behavior by my ex-husband -- and the scars that left, we still deal with 21 years later.  There are all kinds and forms of abuse -- I understand this kind.   to you.......jo
Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
8 posted 2004-04-30 08:23 AM


happens all too often, on behalf of the unenthused, thanks
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2004-04-30 10:19 AM


No, thank you, Raph.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Brad Majors
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10 posted 2004-05-12 12:42 PM


beautiful piece susan!
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