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Open Poetry #31
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Mirage
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Mirage |
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James_A_Fraser Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972Out Making Anticlines |
Mirage We have mirage to smooth the world cool the blue heat hung over this brown and repeal those stains of creosote and borax the harsh of rock and thorn still sling past across this strangely close horizon yet in the distance hangs a glassy sea all the world gone to horizon now but this shrinking scrub peninsula or else the world’s behind where we won’t see this oval rough but there just ahead where we race there in still perfection, smooth if we could reach it, pass the mirror’s edge leave this brown world and drive out into liquid sky “Soon,” you say with softening eyes, your voice a cool serene silver drops spatter the windshield where the tires fling spray |
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| © Copyright 2004 James A. Fraser - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Jamie "if we could reach it, pass the mirror’s edge leave this brown world and drive out into liquid sky “Soon,” you say with softening eyes, your voice a cool serene silver drops spatter the windshield where the tires fling spray" I love this poem...I think we all look for something ahead...something to keep us moving on the road. If not for the belief of "soon"...perhaps we would not be able to go on. Thank you for writing this.  |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
Cool, rhythmic... a very good write. Enjoyed! |
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Sadelite Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519 |
James, I liked your poem very much. I feel the grating of borax and smell the brownish black creosote (neither of the two,pleasant) I like how you carried the reader along to see the mirage. Take care, Sadie |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Oh I want to go there, past the mirrors edge and drive off into the liquid sky! phew! ~sigh~ that's my kind of paradise. Soon, can't come soon enough!!  |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
'into the liquid sky'- yes please, that's where I want to go. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
wonderful! enjoyed this! |
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Kicking Kim Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426Cloud Cucko Land! |
"drive out into liquid sky" I loved this line, theres a sense of dreaminess to it, and it evokes such confidence in your writing!  ^*~Kimberley~*^ "Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Can I just ditto Martie? *S* For I agree! *S* Again, your images are magnificent... and the ending contrasts what the heart sees and what is in front of eyes so powerfully... Excellent work! |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
enjoyed this too |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
its got a bit of "Dark City" slant to it..and ive enjoyed it much!! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
I go off the mirror's edge every now and then -- thank God! It makes the world a little more tolerable. Liked this so much! |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
This is an awesome right. Enjoyed! Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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