navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » pollack
Open Poetry #31
Post A Reply Post New Topic pollack Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-04-05 04:58 AM


here
are possibilities
will you shudder in the warmth?
open hearted
what it's worth
spark
the blood spurt symphony
dotting
walls
in accident
creating art in pain...

How'd yanno?
How did you know?
She shuddered, wiping blood from lip--
"baby please come get me please--
I think that I might need some help..."
slip the phone to cradling
lingering a finger down
sinking in the booth
"alright"
cradling her head.

"I think I'm gonna be alright."

The phone line was already dead--

"okay--I am
okay--" she said
opening the bi-fold door
wishing for a quarter more
wish another line of hope--
as the eager grabbed the phone
pushing pain aside.


[This message has been edited by serenity blaze (04-05-2004 05:48 AM).]

© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-04-05 05:09 AM



the canvas speaks
loudly
deeply
how well i know that sound.

you have amazed me

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-04-05 06:50 AM


Excellent portrayal.  Watched his story the other night.  Very powerful...very painful.  But during the "interviews" it was amazing how much of his mind I truly understood.
muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
3 posted 2004-04-05 07:17 AM


ok,dont know who pollack is...youve retitled?
I viewed this from a different perspective..now im lost

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2004-04-05 08:26 AM


here
are possibilities
will you shudder in the warmth?
open hearted
what it's worth
spark
the blood spurt symphony
dotting
walls
in accident
creating art in pain...


============================

yer just so kewl...just look how you did this...
as he did with paint...you do with words.
I'm framing you in me library.
awesome write KA.

Home is a feeling I buried in you ...
I'm alright, I'm alright ... It only hurts when I breathe ...

M.E.

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-04-05 09:58 AM


"creating art in pain..."

My most favorite line.

Love ya.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

6 posted 2004-04-05 03:04 PM


smile, Jan? you're just so wonderful.

and thank you all.

and yes, dawn, I changed the title, as I wanted to be more clear about my source of inspiration--Jackson Pollack.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

7 posted 2004-04-05 07:13 PM


I'm not familiar with him, but you've made me want to look him up...

This is awesome...

I'm keeping it.

Maree

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

DavePage
Member Elite
since 2003-12-21
Posts 2917

8 posted 2004-04-05 07:31 PM


I'd like to say I understood this, but honesty I'm afraid, crept in

The words, expression, emotion - brilliant - sorry sweetheart I couldn't find the meaning as most of us want that sweet bite of love to run home to someone else with and find we weren't actually lying in your bed on our images but feel that we may be loosing a lot of blood after we get back.

Dabbing it off as we run as we consider a leaky fountain pen, and whether it is raining.

Dave

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
9 posted 2004-04-05 07:40 PM


Amazing. I can't fully describe why I found this write so profound... the images, metaphors and choice of diction are incedible. Thanks for sharing.  
Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
10 posted 2004-04-05 08:13 PM


serenity,
Your name belies. I know people whose lives mimic your writings. All worlds are possible,
have you any doubt that they exist?
Doc

Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
11 posted 2004-04-05 08:42 PM


Awesome....simply awesome. hugs, Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

12 posted 2004-04-05 10:15 PM


*scratching my head*

Well, I suppose it's justice that I'm confused by a couple of the replies here.

Let's me try to clarify--the poem was inspired by Jackson Pollack, but it was not about him.

It was of course, about me.

I was always a fan of his art, but I did indeed see the film, "Pollack", which Sunshine mentioned. After I learned of his trials with mental disorders and addiction, and the resulting tragedy of his death, I had these "splash" images of connection/comparison in my mind, and the way those images played out in no logical order reminded me very much of his work.

At times I tend to toss everything on a page and then look for patterns and edit the rest out.

Kind of like a literary chaos theory.

Thus the poem, for what it's worth.

I apologize if I seem vague in my little offerings here at Pip. But if it helps, this is one of those that I wrote "straight to keys" and I actually had no destination in mind when I wrote it. Nodding here, (not trying to compare myself to the genius of pollack) but his style of painting is so very much like the way I write--um, sometimes.

Poetry?

Smile, prolly not.

But it's damned good therapy.



Thanks for reading.

(And Janet Marie? You consistently amaze me. You're very generous to offer me so much credit, but I am always astounded at your perception. Y'make me feel nekkid, girlie! )

And Doc? The only thing that mystifies me is the possibility that things might not exist. (Are you sure you ain't my shrink?)

And Dave? I do encourage critique and there is never any need to apologize for honesty.
In fact, I appreciate it very much.



Now that said, I don't particularly like explaining my poetry, as I feel it rather intrudes on the reader's right to interpretation. But I don't mind discussing things, so feel free to e mail me.

soliwitch@yahoo.com

Thank you all once again for your kindness and generosity.



Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #31 » pollack

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary