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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2004-04-04 02:13 PM



Some Long Ago Invincible

Her dark hair
and the moonlight

Exotic breath on your lips
a place of water
that leaked on to the cobblestones
not so treacherous arm in arm
you both thought you might be invincible

But
the bombs were exploding
a deep rumble inside the sanctuary

I can hear your heart beat
across the years
even though I know you still stand
there by a tall tree with the fire leaping
behind you next to her
next to me

in some long ago invincible


© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
1 posted 2004-04-04 02:17 PM


oh my goodness!! WOW WOW
you certainly grabbed me with absolute emotion here....
i guess it just struck a chord with me today

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

2 posted 2004-04-04 02:22 PM


"Exotic breath on your lips
a place of water
that leaked on to the cobblestones
not so treacherous arm in arm
you both thought you might be invincible"

And in that thought lies the reason for being.  Really enjoyed this Martie...  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-04-04 02:30 PM


incredible writing, as always
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2004-04-04 02:48 PM


Martie
You always manage to get to me.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
5 posted 2004-04-04 02:54 PM


Intense emotion here, so beautifully shared.
Love, Margherita

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
6 posted 2004-04-04 03:00 PM


MartieSis~
Totally beautiful ... Martiesque Moment~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
7 posted 2004-04-04 03:56 PM


I can hear your heart beat
across the years
even though I know you still stand
there by a tall tree with the fire leaping
behind you next to her
next to me

Martie, you grace these pages in your very own wonderful way!

This is heartfelt and so beautiful.
You are truly a joy to read.




nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
8 posted 2004-04-04 04:27 PM


Martie, there is a tenderness behind all your words that I enjoy


M

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

9 posted 2004-04-04 04:48 PM


Wondermous Martie...wondermous.



Maree

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
10 posted 2004-04-04 04:54 PM



Somehow, this strikes me
as a very sad write.
It could just be me, and my mood...
but it is so like you to make me
fell the tug and pull...

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2004-04-04 09:33 PM


I read this as a wandering soul lost and looking, this is how poetry should affect....you do it like no other...

~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
12 posted 2004-04-04 09:56 PM


You do have a gift...Truly.

Your imagery is unparalleled.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2004-04-05 10:18 AM


Exotic breath on your lips
a place of water
that leaked on to the cobblestones
not so treacherous arm in arm
you both thought you might be invincible

========================================

your pen is invincible ...
awesome imagery poetess Martie-girl.

Home is a feeling I buried in you ...
I'm alright, I'm alright ... It only hurts when I breathe ...

M.E.

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
14 posted 2004-04-05 12:52 PM


Martie - a wonderful write - so full of emotion - I too got a strong wistfullness inside me as I read...loved it as usual - Paul
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
15 posted 2004-04-05 12:55 PM


Awesome write Martie...very much enjoy your style.
You DO have a magic pen!!
Hugs~

  ~Before befriending butterflies
you have to meet with midnight moths.~

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
16 posted 2004-04-05 01:15 PM


ahh,Martie, a lovely thought of somewhere in time..very well done...very gentle smile
icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
17 posted 2004-04-05 02:52 PM


This is very...touching.
James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines
18 posted 2004-04-05 08:22 PM


I love the pattern that expresses itself in this -- it is completely enclosed as a poem yet the theme is open-ended, beginning and end echoing in theme and imagery even though there is so much motion within that thoughts literally run past the end of the poem itself.

You've created a tiny world here, and it is both strong and beautiful -- the way your poems always do. This is simply excellent.



~~J

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

19 posted 2004-04-05 09:26 PM


  Wow!  What can I say?   I believe I understand this very well. I enjoyed your well expressed poem.
              ,
                Sadie

Aenimal
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-18
Posts 7350
the ass-end of space
20 posted 2004-04-05 09:28 PM


As always, beautiful words Martie
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
21 posted 2004-04-06 09:14 AM


Martie,


I always love the "stories" you tell...
I'm so glad I got to read you today.
Take care sweet lady.
Amy

"When life gives you sorrow, may you experience the spirit of laughter"

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
22 posted 2004-04-06 09:18 AM


...as tho' time stood still...


EA

Kicking Kim
Member
since 2001-04-16
Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!
23 posted 2004-04-06 09:28 AM


"But
the bombs were exploding
a deep rumble inside the sanctuary"
This line made a huge impact on the rest of the poem!
There was a huge contrast between
the warmth and loving beginning
and then this shivering truth!

^*~*^*~*^*~*^*~*^

Well written
I thoroughly enjoyed it!

^*~Kimberley~*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

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