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Perpetual Endurance
| Open Poetry #31 |
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Perpetual Endurance |
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ChemicalRepose Member
since 2004-03-28
Posts 102 |
Shadows cast a gleam these deceptions I feel mingling watching you frivolously the scaling of my skeleton and the shedding of my flesh Mephitical winds stalking the baffler trifling to invoke then embody this transient rabble Trying to sigh away and revoke this desperate life but I'm sinking and suffocating toiled and gasping as I approach the vertex The mask of clouds no longer decorating The vestige of your stigma flashing feebly illuminating in despair The twinkling shrine straining my eyes Her womb shrouding and suffocating masticating to swallow my unveiled verities Fulminating horizons collapsing saturating the null with her belligerence grinning with ignorance |
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| © Copyright 2004 Ben - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
The final lines are awesome here: "Fulminating horizons collapsing saturating the null with her belligerence grinning with ignorance" The meaning I find in this is very powerful--but I suspect (because I am no expert) that althought I adore the stretch of vocabulary that got us to that point, the emotion might have been better conveyed with a bit more simplicity. But then? I may have just proven your point, yes? *cackle* Loved it.  |
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ChemicalRepose Member
since 2004-03-28
Posts 102 |
Sometimes I don't think it is possible to simplify emotions, especially when they are so intense and overwhelming. Thanks for the kind words |
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Grover Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967London, ON, Canada |
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