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WhiteRose
Member Elite

since 2002-07-23

Posts 3208
somebody's dungeon

0 posted 2004-04-02 07:26 AM

What would you know of awkward
and strained, or simply pained
at breath entering lungs
when death should be done
finished...the finality
hardly worth the struggle.

You, who with numb indifference
and plasticine inference
know nothing of real,
never pretended to feel,
should stick to words
that are vague
opaque, transparent,
and veiled...
I'll hear nothing more from you.

WhiteRose 04/02/04

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

1 posted 2004-04-02 07:51 AM

This is a very strong
and confident poem.
I really liked the message
which it depicted.

^*Wonderful read*^

^*Kimberley*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

2 posted 2004-04-02 07:56 AM

WhiteRose,
You would cut the Gordian knot, enjoyed.

zippi
Member

since 2004-03-31

Posts 56
California

3 posted 2004-04-02 08:01 AM

That's tellin' em lady! Very strong message.
Rene`

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

4 posted 2004-04-02 08:35 AM

powerful write

good to see you again

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean

since 2002-08-27

Posts 40215
Realms of Light

5 posted 2004-04-02 09:07 AM

"You, who with numb indifference
and plasticine inference
know nothing of real,"

~ Wow! Now that kind of writing is one of the reasons that I have missed you!