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Open Poetry #31
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2004-03-24 12:28 PM


Deranged
am I
the maddened wench
note
the lines
of my gown weigh
heavy
from entrenched missteps
coral slippers
dyed to grey
from the soot
of her exhale
laughing
through a cigarette
mocking
parting
of the lips
"oh" she says
"did that hurt you?"

hot-so-hot
she plays it cool
chin in toss
of laughter
peeled
"clip-clip-clip"
the shadows grow
as the brick
bleeds unatoned
as the fog
conceals reveal--

her giggle was caliope--

she pursed her lips
and blew me home
waves of tears
on river slate--

I'd never felt so alone.

Her grit
left scratches
on my soul
weeping
in that whispered shout
of those Roman Candy Carts
and oaken
dangled
lash of moss...

I hated her, her hungriness.

I festered for the rest...


© Copyright 2004 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2004-03-24 02:07 AM


Potent!  Very painful memory, sounds like.
Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2004-03-24 04:23 AM


WHOA Karen... this is powerful. It's bloody magnificent

I'm keeping it.

Mxx

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Goldenrose
Member Elite
since 2003-05-30
Posts 3665

3 posted 2004-03-24 05:17 AM


Karen..powerfull writing....
Thank you...

Goldenrose.

''Each soul is potentialy divine..the goal is to manifest that divinity''

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
4 posted 2004-03-24 07:52 AM


Now Serenity...nobody has ever..I mean ever..seen 5:38 a.m. in the morning in New Orleans!!!
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

5 posted 2004-03-24 08:29 AM


Serenity Loves Toerag.
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
6 posted 2004-03-24 08:40 AM


serenity,
Drink the wine, pay the fine, it's all the price of the dine.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
7 posted 2004-03-24 08:56 AM


she pursed her lips
and blew me home
waves of tears
on river slate--

~*~

I've got to make a return trip...

bslicker
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2000-12-04
Posts 2321
state of mind
8 posted 2004-03-24 09:26 AM


Bravo!

good one karen...

bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2004-03-24 11:02 AM


I saw.  Through Serenity's eyes...

and now I feel a craving.

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
10 posted 2004-03-24 08:43 PM



im just going to sit here and gaze at you, because words fail me right now.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2004-03-24 08:49 PM


Touching screen and hugging you!
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
12 posted 2004-03-24 09:47 PM


I do wish that I could say what needs said in such a manner.

In this manner, m'witch.

A beauty Karenity!

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
13 posted 2004-03-24 10:41 PM


Your words have a way of haunting me until I read your next work.....and then the haunting starts all over again. Exquisite!
hugs, Chrislane

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

14 posted 2004-03-24 11:43 PM


Ya'll are so good to me...thank you.

(and Toe? somehow I knew you'd get my little joke in the title. Thanks for smiling with me.)

and this was just my little take on my love/hate relationship with my hometown.

Thanks so much for understanding.

Love to all.

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

15 posted 2004-03-24 11:46 PM


You never cease to amaze me!  Great job!
Your choice of words (and wordlessness) are well chosen!  
              Sadie

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2004-03-25 09:07 AM


note
the lines
of my gown weigh
heavy
from entrenched missteps
coral slippers
dyed to grey
from the soot
of her exhale
laughing
through a cigarette
======================

the shadows grow
as the brick
bleeds unatoned
as the fog
conceals reveal--
=======================


Im smiling at you for the imagery in this...
once again you turn a moment in time into poetry and put the reader in the moment...


then?

her giggle was caliope--


you haunt us ... and we love it.


Home is a feeling I buried in you ...
I'm alright, I'm alright ... It only hurts when I breathe ...

M.E.

Logan
Senior Member
since 2001-05-28
Posts 1641
Arkansas
17 posted 2004-03-25 10:13 AM


Ahh, gentle one, funny how one is reminded of Paris and New Orleans at the same time. Lovely job as always...very gentle smile
vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
18 posted 2004-03-25 10:29 AM


enjoyed this a lot
garysgirl
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Member Laureate
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237
Florida, USA
19 posted 2004-03-28 11:52 PM


Hey SereneOne,
This made me think of the first time I ever
went to Bourbon Street. I loved it.
Better not tell all about it now. LOL
Hugs,
Ethel

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

20 posted 2004-03-29 04:56 PM


Hugs and gratitude and a little poke at Ethel here---smile...you tell me YOUR story, I'll tell ya mine?

"see ya in the lounge?"

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
21 posted 2004-03-29 10:38 PM


been 5:38 in norlins
in the mornin on
veterans highway or
is it a boulevard?
not sure I want to remember

when the air hangs heavy
like the town is
one big night club
after a gig

and you can see famous people
leaving the airport
not even being discrete

the highways stack up on each other
turn on each other
like the people
below
somebody
is not having a good nite
looking down the barrel of a .357

and the party kids
think beads and king cakes
are cool

and never even know


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