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Ku'uipo
Junior Member

since 2003-09-25

Posts 42

0 posted 2004-03-20 07:42 AM

I felt myself get swept away,
My feet taken from beneath me,
No foundation, No higher ground,
There lay no path,
The incarcaration of a blind man,
All lamps had fallen, lost their glow,
Living redemption halted,
Delusions of grandeur were left behind,
Pure hearts diseased,
Tomorrow vanished,
Leaving an untouchable essence,
Pawing, grasping, reaching for the void,
Rediscover me,
Victim of displaced hope,
Child of silenced rage,
Hold me to a perfection,
Fear without faith,
Efficiency, sufficiency, consistancy flawed,
My weakness surveils as I fall to the floor,
Bowed my head and secured my rest,
I was swept away

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

1 posted 2004-03-20 07:48 AM

Ku'uipo
Interesting write, enjoyed the read.

Kicking Kim
Member

since 2001-04-16

Posts 426
Cloud Cucko Land!

2 posted 2004-03-20 08:01 AM

Ku'uipo...

"rediscover me" Loved this line!

This was a very intense poem but I understood your notions. You've depicted some true human emotion in this poem, I think that everyone will be able to relate to this on some level. Well done, a wonderful read!

^*Kimberley*^

"Theres no posession, just obsession and growing depression"

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

3 posted 2004-03-20 10:57 AM

Enjoyed.

aujussy wolf

Senior Member

since 2003-08-09

Posts 1215
Michigan

4 posted 2004-03-20 01:51 PM

keep it up K , a great write

.......
JDW III

passing shadows
Member Empyrean

since 1999-08-26

Posts 45577
displaced

5 posted 2004-03-20 01:55 PM

good piece

I hope you come around more

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

6 posted 2004-03-20 05:10 PM

Incredibly penetrating earthiness almost flying on a wind to sing a song

Really liked it

Dave

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-02-22

Posts 9353
Michigan, USA

7 posted 2004-03-20 07:54 PM

In echo here...
the faltering step
That carries the feeling of lost forever...
Not true.

Very well done, well expressed...
Pure and thorough in the emotions conveyed.
ThisDiamond

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