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Open Poetry #31
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2004-03-19 12:02 PM


Balladeer loves golfing, and takes every chance he can,
To get in nine holes or more, often with his best friends.
One day he got to the course and decided to go on,
Before his pals could join him, Toerag and Long John.

Toe and John played slow, a woman’s group ahead of them,
They made the turn in 3 hours plus, much to their chagrin.
It was in the 13th’s adjoining pasture they found their buddy, ‘Deer,
Clearly mangled and beaten, and not another soul was near.

They revived their comrade and asked him why he was lying there,
And what terrible fate had brought him to his state of disrepair.
‘Deer explained, “A woman’s foursome were looking for an errant shot,
When they waved me through, as I waited on the tee box.”

“I swung outside to in, which sliced my shot far to the right,
And trudged off toward the women who were searching in their plight.
Some cows were grazing in the pasture where we’d lost the balls,
So amongst the livestock you could hear us as we made our calls.

“I have one here, a Titlest 3, could this be the one you played?”
“It’s not mine. My ball is orange. I’m playing a Topflite 8.”
“Though not mine,” I called, “I just found a brand new Maxflite 2.”
“Not mine either,” the woman responded, as she wiped her shoe.

“Just then I looked up at a nearby cow, as it swatted at some flies,
That were landing on the poor beast, and were buzzing around its eyes.
I noticed a ball had ended it’s flight in a most unlikely place,
Securely wedged in the cow’s end, and I’m not talking about its face.”

“I couldn’t read the name of the ball, but the number was an eight,
And the ball was a bright orange, like the woman said she played.
I lifted the tail and pointed, “Lady, does this one look like yours?”
That was the last thing I remember, until you found me on the course."

That poor ‘Deer.  I told him he needed to fix that slice!

© Copyright 2004 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Youngatheart
Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333

1 posted 2004-03-19 12:27 PM


And Long John is back too!!!!!!!!!!

Very funny.

Thank you for keeping us all smiling and entertained.

Youngster

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
2 posted 2004-03-19 12:27 PM


Hilarious!
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
3 posted 2004-03-19 01:23 PM


Nothing better than a long weekend with a bunch of comics...this is good...let's see what comes of it if I push it back to the Fore...front [geez....]
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2004-03-19 01:43 PM


LngJhnAg
That sounded like bull ---- to me. LOL
Enjoyed the read.

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

5 posted 2004-03-19 02:24 PM


what a hoot!
               Sadie

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
6 posted 2004-03-19 02:36 PM


Yea, 'Deer' can handle this for her...he's used to "fore"-play with a cow....
Youngatheart
Member
since 2003-12-30
Posts 333

7 posted 2004-03-19 02:43 PM


teehee toe!!
sea_of_okc
Senior Member
since 1999-06-15
Posts 568
Oklahoma City, OK, USA
8 posted 2004-03-19 02:44 PM


Actually Toe if I'm not mistaken I believe that was a sheep...
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2004-03-19 03:15 PM


Sea...that's his mistress..not his regular lover...
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
10 posted 2004-03-19 03:30 PM


Oh, my. THis is passions the way it used to be. When I first came to this site, these three were clawing at each others throats with puns and other indiscretions, and now they're back at it. I might just stick around, boys.
Nice and meaty poem
Thanks
Liz

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
11 posted 2004-03-19 08:01 PM


The gal looked at that cow's rear end
And heard its mournful MOOOOOO!!!!
Then called out in her loudest voice,
"HEY, TOERAG! IS THAT YOU????"  


Always was hard trying to tell the difference...

Great shot-making (or taking) here, sailor. Good to see ya back

Titia Geertman
Member Ascendant
since 2001-05-07
Posts 5182
Netherlands
12 posted 2004-03-19 08:42 PM



Oh boy, did I enjoy reading that!!!

LOL LOL LOL

Titia

Like scattered leaves...my words will flow

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2004-03-22 10:24 AM


ROFLMAO... the boyz are back in town... smiles are sure to follow! *G*
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-03-22 12:53 PM


hehehehhee....
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
15 posted 2004-03-22 01:36 PM


"I noticed a ball had ended it’s flight in a most unlikely place,
Securely wedged in the cow’s end, and I’m not talking about its face.”"

~ I'm confused. Please explain. (hardee har har!)

I see that you are still in fine form, Dear Long John Silver!

Loves 'n Laughs,
EA

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