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Passions in Poetry

Midnight Blue Awakenings ... duet with Lauren

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Janet Marie
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since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


25 posted 03-16-2004 12:01 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

My mothy thanks to each and everyone of you for your lovely & kind replies. Its been awhile since I've posted, almost forgot how. I was a wreck this morning getting this post up.
Guess I've gotten shy in my old age.  

Lauren,
I dont know what took us so long, but it was indeed worth the wait. And it comes as no surprise that it would be you and your poetry that brought my muse back from its long drought. So many times your poems wrote what my heart needed to say, but lacked the expression.
I'm so glad we got the chance to poetically two step.  
Thank you again lovely poetess.

ethome
Member Patricius
since 05-14-2000
Posts 11545
New Brunswick Canada


26 posted 03-16-2004 03:45 AM       View Profile for ethome   Email ethome   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit ethome's Home Page   View IP for ethome

Absolutely inspired from beginning to end.

You two sweethearts should be writing together more.

I've always loved your work Janet and since Lauren has come along I've really attached myself to her work.

This is..
"I still see you
kneeling on the shore
premonitions in the mist
tears stained the tides
your pleas became psalms,
I could only stand in silent awe
as forgiveness painted wings
upon your palms
rain fell as holy water
the sky exhaled   bending light
I saw you ascend in
fragments of distant glitter
traveling beyond the stars"
such a marvelous level of inspired work I just am so thrilled to read it.

The rest being excellent too!

Eric
Kit McCallum
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Member Laureate
since 04-30-2000
Posts 16920
Ontario, Canada


27 posted 03-16-2004 05:57 AM       View Profile for Kit McCallum   Email Kit McCallum   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Kit McCallum

Ladies ... this is exquisite!  This flows so beautifully, I can't see the changeover between either of you. It is seemless, and brilliantly done.

The descriptive elements are breathtaking to say the least. Over and over, I was really taken with the vivid use of imagery or the unique twist on a word or phrase.

What a pretty and soothing read ... you both got a big sighhhhhhhhh at the end of that one. I just loved it.

Well done indeed Lauren and JM!

Best wishes and hugs,
/Kit
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


28 posted 03-16-2004 10:30 AM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

Eric~ and thank you for such sweet words....


~~

Kit~ Dear Lady I apprecite your tender reply, as I am sure Janet Marie does too....thank you for taking time to read....


~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~
James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 09-03-2003
Posts 981
Out Making Anticlines


29 posted 03-16-2004 10:53 AM       View Profile for James_A_Fraser   Email James_A_Fraser   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for James_A_Fraser

It's good you marked the text, because without that it's hard to say where one ends and the other begins -- as a good duet should be!



~~J

Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
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Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


30 posted 03-16-2004 04:00 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

James F~

hello and thank you for stopping in....we appreciate the visit....


~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~
Opeth
Member Elite
since 12-13-2001
Posts 2224
The Ravines


31 posted 03-16-2004 04:20 PM       View Profile for Opeth   Email Opeth   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Opeth

Wow! This was so good. I don't know where to begin what I was while reading this beautifully written piece of poetry...

So many thoughts came to mind ~ "Let the light surround you, once lost but I was found..." Dream Theater, Opeth, Savatage... I could take some of these lines and write music for them.

Heartfelt sorrow, love and romance, letting go... nature... inspiration... I could go on.

Janet Marie and Lauren, I bow to you both.

"You sleep in the night yet the night and the silent water still so dark."

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind


32 posted 03-16-2004 05:01 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

Opeth~

&
such a kind reply....thank you sir...for being who you are....


~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


33 posted 03-16-2004 05:17 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Thank you all so much for letting us know you enjoyed this, your gracious responses are appreciated.

Lauren...thank you for being such a lovely butterfly hostess
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


34 posted 03-16-2004 09:06 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

JM~

~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 08-07-2001
Posts 5716


35 posted 03-17-2004 12:08 AM       View Profile for Duncan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Duncan

“And I can hear you whisper my
name in endless ache
lingering traces of love
tease my lips
that I am here to
remember your soul”

The thought of someone remembering your soul, feeling a purpose in doing so...pretty much says it all for me.  In fact, I would’ve ended the poem right there.
Just jerkin’ your moth chains...  

“More than I wanted to love you ...

I wanted to grant you reprieve,
still in time your truths revealed
wounds that would never heal,
in one heartbreaking, final appeal
you prayed for merciful flight

The kindest thing I could do for you ...
was give you back to the night”

Don’t know which one of you wrote the verse, but the use of italics on “heartbreaking” accented it perfectly.  The sentiment once again speaking to a degree of devotion rarely experienced.    

“{In anticipation of your arrival ...
the moon dressed in feathered gown
the stars adorned amethyst crowns ...}


I still see you
kneeling on the shore
premonitions in the mist
tears stained the tides
your pleas became psalms,
I could only stand in silent awe
as forgiveness painted wings upon your palms
rain fell as holy water
the sky exhaled bending light
I saw you ascend in
fragments of distant glitter
traveling beyond the stars

without ever leaving my sight.”

Some great lines in this verse, and visually it is incredibly effective.

“in desperate hours it is then I breathe you in
all scents from earth these moments that rise from sea
take me to places that are far away”

Just liked how these few lines encompassed such a “large” thought.

“I listen

across stillness across any light I may have left inside
will you hear my vespers from a darkened soul

in shape-less shadows
life will gather with waves
here among fertile enchantments
my heart unfolds petal by petal
waiting for warm caress
let night awaken”

Resolve and hope....seeming to be so distinct, even polar, are somehow blended effortlessly in this.   Impressive.

“After a long season of intimate mourning
inspiration returned, restoring my faith in
winter's white solace

consoled by your voice in muse whisperings,
silhouetted memories translated to verse
prayers to poetry, scripture to rhyme,seducing the page, haunting exquisite every line

For all that you mercifully left behind
in your dusking persuasion,
with each breath of a moment's passing
you became the star's illumination

you, my love ...
became the sky's inspiration”

Again, some of the best lines of the poem and again italics on “haunting exquisite” is well placed.  (Think I’m catching onto this style a bit...lol).

“I dreamt of you last night

rising from the mist:
for a moment your being
reflected every water drop

every tear

I deeply inhaled
your solar rhythms
between ocean and sky
sun and star, earth and seas

there is no distance

in first blossom of spring
in gentle fall of snow
tapping rain upon my roof

there is no distance

between you and I


softly night awakens
in her amber phase”

.
What else can I say?  Ya’ll did it about as well as it can be done.   There were only a couple verses where I was sure what was Lauren’s and what was JM’s. Hard to disguise those litterbations...
Knowing a bit of the story behind this write gave me an appreciation of it’s subject that did add a lot to my enjoyment of it, not to say it doesn’t stand well on it’s own.  
They were very fortunate to have known you, as you were them and well, like I said before...that line about remembering your soul said it all.  
And ya’ll really should try writing together again...say something “distilled”.


Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
since 09-09-2000
Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


36 posted 03-17-2004 12:42 AM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

ok Duncan
you made me cry with your response....sigh...very lucky indeed
and thank you for taking time to choose some of my favorite words as well.....of course I speak of JM there...   she is lovely....and so very special....ok I ramble....lol thank you


~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~
Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 03-07-2001
Posts 19652
British Columbia, Canada


37 posted 03-17-2004 02:39 AM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Well I can't add much as I am late but I can say this, when two ladies with wings of gentleness rub together and speak the voice of their heart and soul, it is bound to move you.  All I can say ladies, is that I truly was moved by the purity of love I read in this.  I suppose that is what recollections are for, making a spirit feel just the biggest hug, and for some reason this butterfly too feels a slight hug from your collaboration.  Well done, and do I dare ask for "more please?"

These stuck in my mind and throat:

consoled by your voice in muse whisperings,
silhouetted memories translated to verse
prayers to poetry, scripture to rhyme,seducing the page, haunting exquisite every line

For all that you mercifully left behind
in your dusking persuasion,
with each breath of a moment's passing
you became the star's illumination

you, my love ...
became the sky's inspiration”

Now considering I read you both so much I saw the odd place where I could tell JM in there, I thought until I had to say, "well maybe that was Lauren?"  Well done, well done indeed you two!



Today I'm only moving clouds, tomorrow I'll try mountains.
MidnightSon
Member
since 05-15-2002
Posts 328
between the gutter & the stars


38 posted 03-17-2004 03:02 AM       View Profile for MidnightSon   Email MidnightSon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for MidnightSon

you are poets both of you.
there's nothing that i can say to you that you don't already know.

*awestruck*

through the ravages of sleeplessness lies the comfort of the night

garysgirl
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Member Seraphic
since 09-29-2002
Posts 20064
Florida, USA


39 posted 03-17-2004 11:09 AM       View Profile for garysgirl   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit garysgirl's Home Page   View IP for garysgirl

I'm sitting here with my mouth open in awe......
This wonderful, beautiful writing has made me
speechless for real!!!!
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
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Posts 10848
In Your Poetic Mind


40 posted 03-17-2004 12:47 PM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes




Mysteria~

hugssss ebay   lady.... this was a pleasure to do....we appreciate your time....thank you much ....

~~

Midndightson~

what a sweet compliment....thank you

~~

Ethel~

awwww sweet lady, so good to see your smile here....touching reply...thank you

~~

Muwwwaaahhhss and HUGSSSS for all the heartfelt comments, compliments and for taking time to visit these words...

~



~~**~~
Walking with bare feet
among a tapestry of words,
each woven thread, awakening the soul
~~**~~
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


41 posted 03-17-2004 03:01 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Please add my humble thanks to Laurens for your generous replies.... I thank you all for coming by....


Duncan???? you reallllly did read the whole thing!!!!!  
Thank you for such an indepth response....almost reads as long as a moth confession.

Sharon ... yes, you know too...you have a lovely butterfly muse of your own.
thanks sweet lady!!

MS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEY YOU...whats up groovy guy...been a long time since you've done a fly by...hows life in the fast lane.

Ethel ... thank you...youre such a doll.

thanks to all for your kind replies...

Lauren...sweets..Im gonna have to hire you for my PR agent...you make me look so much better than I am.

I am sure of my reasons, embracing the seasons,
and the sacred simplicity of you at my side.

Vienna Teng

BluesSerenade
Member Rara Avis
since 10-23-2001
Posts 9867
By the Seaside


42 posted 03-17-2004 11:19 PM       View Profile for BluesSerenade   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for BluesSerenade

Have you ever sat outside and observed two butterflies in flutter, following each other's lead in unison and perfect rhythm?
I can't even begin to tell you how many times I had to catch my breath while reading this.

  
You two made the sun dance with such  sensitive warmth.

Thank you for this beauty, you are both so very lovely here.

suthern
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since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


43 posted 03-22-2004 10:04 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

This is an exquisite weaving of strings straight from the hearts of two major talents. *S* To choose my favorite passages would be to repost the poem... Excellent work!
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


44 posted 03-22-2004 10:54 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Lori.... thank you again, for such a lovely reply...it reads like poetry.   TY girlie.

Ruth...any post of mine sorely misses you...an exquisite from you is good enough for me.   thank you groovy girl.
Gentle Spirit
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since 10-09-2000
Posts 14329


45 posted 03-22-2004 10:57 AM       View Profile for Gentle Spirit   Email Gentle Spirit   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Gentle Spirit

smiling....you are both so beautiful and I already knew this would be pure grace and eloquence.  Well done my friends...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


46 posted 03-22-2004 11:02 AM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

Thank you Donna...Lauren brings out things in my pen that I didnt know it was capable of. She is indeed eloquent and graceful, in pen and spirit. Thank you for the lovely reply girlie.


thanks again to all, for your kind replies
and to Lauren for all that she inspires in me.
Mysteria
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since 03-07-2001
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British Columbia, Canada


47 posted 03-25-2006 12:50 PM       View Profile for Mysteria   Email Mysteria   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Mysteria

Ah I found it!  Was in the mood for you butterfly girls this morning - a beautiful sunny day, and this read plus a great coffee is just what I needed.
Greeneyes
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Member Patricius
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In Your Poetic Mind


48 posted 03-27-2006 09:30 AM       View Profile for Greeneyes   Email Greeneyes   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Greeneyes

missing my butterfly ....miss reading you...

hugssss dear....

just had to come in a read this again....

And so it those we live with
and should know who elude us
But we can still love them
we can love completely
without complete understanding

 
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