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Open Poetry #31

My Dream

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

0 posted 2004-03-08 03:14 PM

Feeling small looking up to fear
I see the closeness of those I dont belong to

Of love for someone to decide my meaning

Small steppes to take into my heart

When I dream of daylight
I see your eyes
And your shape
And a man who will make you happy
Or dead

There is a hill where I can see for ever
Maybe from the hill for ever and ever

To be outcast elsewhere
Than my home

With tired feet I return to a long awaited hill
Where once was grass
Now I see shrub
Tired dried weeds
Burning

Throughout my travels I always knew I would find this hill

Now
I know only sorrow
And my dream

Grover
Senior Member

since 2004-01-27

Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada

1 posted 2004-03-08 03:28 PM

Very nice! Grover.

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

2 posted 2004-03-08 03:58 PM

Thanks Grover

It was something out of Pickwick Papers that has always kicked the back of my mind from time to time that made me write it.

I should have written it better, and in time I will do.

Dave

WinterWren
Senior Member

since 2002-12-01

Posts 1044
...Coming to

3 posted 2004-03-08 04:44 PM

I really enjoyed this one, it has nice tones. Very good imagery.
I'll look forward to the new and improved version.

W.W.
We were meant to live for so much more have we lost ourselves?
Maybe redemption has stories to tell maybe forgiveness is right where you fell.

Dark Angel
Member Patricius

since 1999-08-04

Posts 10095

4 posted 2004-03-08 06:08 PM

I enjoyed this very much...well written.

Maree

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

DavePage
Member Elite

since 2003-12-21

Posts 2917

5 posted 2004-03-13 02:48 PM

WinterWren Dark Angel

Thanks

I suppose I always return and review and re-write but the nice thing on Passions is that I sharpen up when I write.

My thanks for your words

Dave

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