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Open Poetry #31
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2004-03-07 06:18 PM


Notions

In an empty box called silence
(a child will fill empty with things
she has no words for)
she had placed some secrets

It had started with something like
“where did you get that silly notion?”
that caused the cutting-up of her important thought
and replacing it with attention to a lace doily
on the arm of the rocker
where she was lollygagging

It was then she knew
that she hadn’t hid them well enough

In broad daylight she caught hell
for talking back to the Listerine man
and said to herself
he is always right and I am wrong

but knowing anyway

nothing he said could be right
(like Sunday prayer
and all those gold stars by her name)

He said sin was playing cards
but she knew that something on Sunday
was far worse then Canasta
and it lurked in the taffeta of her best dress

She took her notions and hid them
deep inside midnight and the scary closet
of her dreams
and she kept them there for years
invisible     yet festering

She took them out
after inches grew her   and understanding
she held them up to her light
called    oh what was it called?

Righteousness!

© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-03-07 06:27 PM


Martie
Wonderful write, you have a style of your own.

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
2 posted 2004-03-07 06:28 PM


OhSweetSisterOfMyHeart~

feeling ... feeling this one~

Sending hugs for you to place inside a new special box ... just for days when you need to know someone loves you for just who you are~

I do !

And this poignant piece gets printed and saved to the special box of poetry I have of you~
I love you~
*Huglets* ... *Huglets*
~*Sis*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-03-07 06:29 PM


a classic piece of Martie


Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-03-07 06:30 PM


So wonderful dear Martie!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~ Time has cast a spell on you,
   So you won't ever forget me ~

Grover
Senior Member
since 2004-01-27
Posts 1967
London, ON, Canada
5 posted 2004-03-07 06:32 PM


Very nice! Grover.
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

6 posted 2004-03-07 06:33 PM


I loved this...wonderful!

Eric

wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2004-03-07 06:36 PM


Notions, yes!

It's all I write of.

But mine, it seems, always become "set" in the face of righteousness.

Nice, Martie....Very!

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
8 posted 2004-03-07 07:16 PM


Excellent and so unique...adore your work Marti.
TD

icebox
Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383
in the shadows
9 posted 2004-03-07 11:23 PM


There is darkness as well as light in this.

A memorable read.

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
10 posted 2004-03-08 01:19 AM


He said sin was playing cards
but she knew that something on Sunday
was far worse then Canasta
and it lurked in the taffeta of her best dress

Yep, you've got such a nice style!
Hugging you Martie~

Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
11 posted 2004-03-08 10:39 AM


Martie - the awful things done by persons in the name of righteousness - you write so well of the struggles of a person dealing with the statements of righteousness and the actions of violation - this is very powerful - Paul
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
12 posted 2004-03-08 12:21 PM



I was going to cut and paste my favorite lines, but that would not be a notion worth keeping, as the all of it needs the rest of the thoughts of it, in order to be truly whole.



Love you, Sissie...

Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
13 posted 2004-03-08 07:22 PM


Martie, sometimes the only possible response to one of your poems is to just sit and look at it....then eventually remember to refocus our eyes and read again.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2004-03-08 07:53 PM


Indeed a powerful write Martie.

It's always a pleasure to read you lovely lady.

M

Beauty of the world which is soon to perish has two edges, one of laughter and one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder.
(by Virginia Woolf)

Sadelite
Member Elite
since 2003-10-11
Posts 2519

15 posted 2004-03-08 09:13 PM


Martie,
  I loved the layers of this.  Notions, button boxes, lace, taffeta-all things I can relate to...   You are one talented lady!
           Sadie

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
16 posted 2004-03-09 09:59 PM


powerful, and well said Martie~ as always I walk away learning from your words

~~**~~
There are moments when speech
is but a mouth pressed lightly and
humbly against the angel's hands.

dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
17 posted 2004-03-10 02:21 AM


Lost myself in this one Martie...and read it again and again.....THANKS
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
18 posted 2004-03-10 02:51 AM


Martie, I could read your poetry forevermore! What a lovely poetess you are!

Love & Light,
Linda

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
19 posted 2004-03-10 06:46 PM


I tried to pick out a stanza or even a line to make special comment on, but I would have ended up reposting the whole poem, so I will leave it as this....I enjoyed every stanza, every line...You have dug out the soul of the theme, and brought it into light...
________ice
  ><>

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

20 posted 2004-03-10 10:20 PM


In an empty box called silence
(a child will fill empty with things
she has no words for)
she had placed some secrets

It had started with something like
“where did you get that silly notion?”
that caused the cutting-up of her important thought
and replacing it with attention to a lace doily
on the arm of the rocker
where she was lollygagging

=====================================

He said sin was playing cards
but she knew that something on Sunday
was far worse then Canasta
and it lurked in the taffeta of her best dress

She took her notions and hid them
deep inside midnight and the scary closet
of her dreams
and she kept them there for years
invisible     yet festering

She took them out
after inches grew her   and understanding
she held them up to her light
called    oh what was it called?

Righteousness!
================================

it is the things we feel the deepest that inspires the most powerful and personal poetry. You turned truth into verse and hopefully found release and healing in your words... its always been the only reason I write.
As always your personifications and detailed imagery leave me wanting to write like this when I grow up.

I am sure of my reasons, embracing the seasons,
and the sacred simplicity of you at my side.

Vienna Teng


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